Marriage

~ 4:10 PM EST. I forgot to add something to this when I first wrote it. Look for the ~ symbol.

I don't consider myself an expert on the subject of marriage (though I've been married for 15 years), there's always room for improvement. Nor am I an expert on the Bible, though I've been in church and serving God from a very young age. But I don't think I'm a novice on either subject.

I've done personal studies on a few subjects in the past to see what the Bible says about some things. Since being what God wants me to be is very important to me, and so is being a good wife and mother, I looked up scriptures that are directed towards women and also scriptures that are about marriage.

I sometimes seek out ways to improve myself, even if only in a small area, and this time I've been trying to be a better wife and mother. Well, it's an all the time thing really. But I wanted to especially focus on the scriptural aspects.

I will not write about this as if I am an expert, since as I said earlier, I'm not an expert. I will only share what various sources say about things and how I personally understand it. This isn't so much for others as it is me sharing how I understand things for myself.

If you're not a Christian and don't care anything about the Bible's teachings on marriage, then you can skip this. The purpose of writing this is not to stir up debate or to get other people's opinions. I first started this blog as a sort of personal (though public, so many of the very private details of my life have never been shared here) journal and never expected many, if any, people to read it. Though I'm certainly glad to have anyone here who's interested. I welcome all friendly readers and commenters. :-)

I don't talk a lot on my blog about the Bible or God or church, though they are very important to me. So I hope that y'all will bear with me and not run away when the occasional entry about such things is written here.

Before I get into this, I want to also say that I thought it funny that these scriptures are ones I've read many times, but I didn't really focus on them before, and so their meaning didn't fully sink in. Now I've read them with purpose and a desire to truly understand what they mean.


Unity, Faithfulness and Divorce

Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7-8 and Ephesians 5:31 all say that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Cleave means to be united, to be joined, to hold fast. A man should be closer to his wife than to his own parents.

Wesley's Notes say this: "The virtue of a divine ordinance, and the bonds of it, are stronger even than those of nature."

In Matthew and Mark, Jesus goes on to say that what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. (In other words, don't get divorced.) And also, if a man or woman puts away (divorces) his or her spouse, unless it's because of adultery, and then marries someone else, they have committed adultery. Why? Because in God's eyes, you are still married to your first spouse (unless the divorce was caused by adultery), even if you are not according to "the law of the land". These two are one flesh.


I Corinthians 7:27 says in the NIV, "Are you married? Do not seek a divorce."

In the New Living Translation, "If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage."

In the American King James Version, "Are you bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed."

Bible in Basic English, "If you are married to a wife, make no attempt to get free."


Malachi 2:16 says, "For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away." Remember, "putting away" means divorce. God hates divorce.

In verses 13 and 14, God said that He would refuse the offerings of those who have "dealt treacherously" with their wives. "She is thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant." Covenant being the marriage covenant, the marriage vows. A covenant is sacred and should not be broken. Romans 1 says that "covenantbreakers" are worthy of death.

Dealt treacherously means (according to various interpretations): have broken faith with, have been unfaithful to, have despised.

Men should be faithful to their wives, keep their vows and love their wives. Otherwise God will not accept their offerings or answer their prayers. Not until they repent and make things right with their wives.

Galatians 5 says that those who commit adultery "shall not inherit the kingdom of God".


~ Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

A man should only lust after his wife. This is why porn and strip clubs are so wrong. It's a sin against God's Word and a betrayal (cheating) against a man's wife. Any man who's having a problem with this needs to stop and he needs to ask God to help him. God will always help you do the right thing if you sincerely want it and if you ask Him to.


Ephesians 5:32, (after it saying in verse 31 that "they two shall be one flesh"), compares marriage to Christ and the church. In verse 25, husbands are told to love [verb; requires action] their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

Think about that for a minute. A man is supposed to love his wife the way Jesus loves us. He's supposed to give himself to her and for her completely. Do you think Jesus wants to be separated or divorced from His church? Marriage is supposed to represent that covenant. It is sacred and precious and should never be broken.

I thought about a few verses and applied them to marriage. In one of them, Jesus says He will never leave us or forsake us. Well, if a man is to love his wife according to God's will (as Christ loved the church), then he should never leave or forsake (turn away from; give up or refuse) his wife.

Proverbs 18:22, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord."


~ Ephesians 5:33, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence [respect] her husband."

This is what the Matthew Henry Commentary says in response to Ephesians 5:22-33:

"The duty of wives is, submission to their husbands in the Lord, which includes honouring and obeying them, from a principle of love to them. The duty of husbands is to love their wives. The love of Christ to the church is an example, which is sincere, pure, and constant, notwithstanding her failures. ... The words of Adam, mentioned by the apostle, are spoken literally of marriage; but they have also a hidden sense in them, relating to the union between Christ and his church. It was a kind of type, as having resemblance. There will be failures and defects on both sides, in the present state of human nature, yet this does not alter the relation. All the duties of marriage are included in unity and love. And while we adore and rejoice in the condescending love of Christ, let husbands and wives learn hence their duties to each other. Thus the worst evils would be prevented, and many painful effects would be avoided."


Sex

I Corinthians 7:3-5 says in the New Living Translation: "The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

I think that's pretty self-explanatory. :-)


Duties and Position

Colossians 3:18-19, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love [verb; requires action] your wives, and be not bitter against them."

Why should wives submit? (Besides the fact that God said so.) Because the husband is the head of the wife. [I Corinthians 11:3] He represents Jesus in the marriage (as marriage compares to Jesus and the church) and the wife represents the church, the bride of Christ. Who has the authority? Jesus or His people? Jesus is the head of the church.

A body can only have one head. And just as the body (wife) can't do without the head (husband), the head (husband) can't do without the body (wife).

It reminds me of that saying, I think I heard it in that movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the husband is the head, but the wife is the neck and the neck turns the head. ;-)


Genesis calls woman man's helpmeet. [Helper; female helper; relief; aid.] Ladies, our men need us. Whether they believe it or understand it or agree with it or not. We are here to help them. Lord knows they need it. ;-)

"Be not bitter against them" means "never treat them harshly". Husbands should be kind to their wives.


I Timothy 5:8, "But if any [man] provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

Any man who does not provide for his wife and children is worse than an unbeliever. He is worse than someone who doesn't believe in God. And if someone who doesn't believe in God can't make it to heaven, I can't help but wonder how a man who (purposely) does not provide for his family can make it. A man must love his family, be affectionate with them, spend time with them, support them financially and lead them spiritually as he is supposed to be the spiritual leader of the home.

This doesn't mean that a man who loses his job is doing wrong. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control. But he should do his best to provide for them. And if he trusts God and serves Him, God will provide and will supply all your need. Including a job. You've just got to trust Him and serve Him.


Titus 2:3-5 says that women should "be sober [wise]", "love their husbands", "love their children", "be discreet [sensible; self-controlled], chaste [morally pure; clean in heart], keepers at home [housewives; busy at home; manage their households; work in their homes; workers at home; homemakers], good [kind; gentle], obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed [maligned; discredited; shamed; reviled; dishonored; exposed to reproach]."


**Notice that anytime scripture tells husbands to love their wives and wives to love their husbands, there are no conditions attached. No list of unlesses. It doesn't say husbands/wives love your wives/husbands unless they hurt you or unless they disagree with you or unless you don't share every hobby/interest or unless they make you angry or unless they walk out. Or whatever. God commands unconditional love.

Since God commands husbands to love their wives as Jesus loves the church, and His love is unconditional ("who can separate us from the love of God?"), then a husband's love for his wife must also be unconditional and never ending.


I Peter 3:1-2, 7, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection [submit] to your own husbands; that, if any [husbands] obey not the word, they [husbands] may also without the word be won by the conversation [behavior; lifestyle] of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation [your pure, reverent, holy lives] coupled with fear [of God]...Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them [your wives] according to knowledge [with understanding; in an understanding way], giving honour [respect] unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel [delicate partner; female; friend; helper], and as being heirs together [equal partners] of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

Geneva Study Bible says that husbands should have "an honest care" for their wives and their wives should not "be neglected".

It also says that "All fighting and rebuking must be avoided, because they hinder prayers and the whole service of God, to which both the husband and wife are equally called."

Matthew Henry Commentary says, "...giving due respect unto her, and maintaining her authority, protecting her, and placing trust in her."


A word on submission.

Submit: "to yield oneself to the authority or will of another; to defer to (respectfully submit to) or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another."

In order to submit, there must first be disagreement. ("You can't submit to someone you agree with. There's nothing to submit.") What I mean is, it's fine and normal for wives to disagree with their husbands on some things. But then the wife must submit to the husband's decision.

The husband should listen to his wife, care about her opinion and view on things, no matter how different from his own, and be man enough to agree with her and do what she wants if he sees and believes that she's right. But the decision is ultimately up to him. And if he makes the wrong decision, it will be on him, not the wife. That's a lot of pressure. I know I wouldn't want that on my shoulders.

You should also understand that submitting doesn't mean you do what your husband wants you to do if what he wants you to do requires you to disobey God.


Submission is something most women hate. Submitting to our husbands has been unpopular for a long time. Probably since Adam and Eve sinned. But especially, it seems, since the middle of the 20th century.

But God is the final authority. He will judge. I know for myself, I want to do things His way. His ways are above our ways and His thoughts are above our thoughts.

I'm not saying I always like submitting to my husband. But, as I said, I want to do things God's way. He knows what's best. He set up the chain of authority the way He wanted it to be. But don't forget that I Peter 3:7 says that husbands and wives are equal partners of eternal life. The husband is the head, but he is not better than her or smarter necessarily. He shouldn't be a tyrant or rule with an iron fist. Remember, a husband is supposed to be kind to his wife, honor her, love her and respect her.

He will not have a higher place in heaven, as husbands and wives are equal partners spiritually. We have different roles in marriage and in our homes, but neither is better than the other.


Anyway, as I said, this is all just how I understand things and how commentaries and concordances and various Bible translations explain things.


"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences." -- Dave Meurer

"The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent and it must be equal." -- Frank Sinatra

"The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior. But from the side to be equal, under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

"Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." -- Robert Heinlein

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get. It's what you are expected to give - which is everything."

“Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.” -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I wrote about the Nature of Love back in September. It's a breakdown of I Corinthians 13. This is how love should be.

Motherhood

Mothers have been hearing for a few years now that we need to make sure to take time for ourselves. Don't keep yourself at the bottom of your list of priorities. A happy wife makes for a happy life. Having a little "me time" everyday helps you keep your sanity.

But then you also read about mothers who are doing this and that for their kids, running here, running there, signing their kids up for this or that activity, spending little to no time on the internet or whatever activity they enjoy alone. All focus is on their kids and it can make you feel selfish for taking time for yourself. To me there appears to be two different messages out there.

But then maybe that's just me.

I do take time for myself everyday. I really need it to keep my sanity. Not because of my kids, but because of what I've been going through for almost a year now. Though I feel guilty for taking time for myself each day, I feel like if I didn't I would've lost my mind long ago.

I spend time on the internet and I read almost everyday. But I also cook good meals, clean our home, do laundry, and take my kids to the park to walk the trails or play on the playground or go fishing or play tennis.

I make sure our pets are fed and the dog is taken out, bathe the dog and cut his hair.

I help Kelly with her homework (Sean always gets his done at school) and help Sean with school projects.

I make sure we have food in the fridge and the pantry, buy clothes and shoes for my kids when they need them (something I hardly ever get to do for myself), do little things for my kids like rent movies and games or take them out to eat or buy them a book they're wanting once in awhile or cook something special for them when they ask for it.

I make sure the kids shower regularly (they love to shower once they're there, it's just getting them to get in) and brush their teeth. I brush and style Kelly's beautiful, long hair.

We read our Bibles together sometimes and I explain its teachings to them and talk about Bible stories. I also tell them about things God has done for me and others.

I doctor boo-boos and nurse my kids when they're sick. (Something we had more than our share of a couple months ago.) I take them to the doctor when they're sick or hurt and for well check-ups.

I pray for my kids every morning after I drop them off at their schools and every night before I go to bed. And of course I pray for my husband every night and throughout the day.

My family is my life.

I'm not saying all this to brag on myself. That's not the point. The point is, even though most of my focus is on my family and most of what I do is for them, I still feel guilty (sometimes only a little, sometimes a lot) for taking time for myself each day. The guilt doesn't stop me though because I recognize how much I need it.

Am I the only wife and mother who feels this way? Guilty while taking time for myself, yet still taking time for myself. It's kind of an odd place to be mentally and emotionally. Those mixed feelings. Or maybe it's just me that's odd. ;-)

When God Ran

I was in the kitchen awhile ago when this song came to mind. I went to YouTube to listen to it and sat here crying my eyes out.

Why did it move me so?

Well, besides the fact that it's a powerful song, there's a person I know who has strayed far from God. It goes beyond just not serving God, not reading the Bible, not praying, not going to church. This person has done things that are in obvious opposition to God's Word and he/she has broken hearts in the process.

When I think of this person out there, lost, and doing God only knows what, it causes my heart to ache. Many times I've cried and prayed for this person. It is my prayer that God does whatever it takes to save this person and bring him/her back to where he/she belongs. God's done it before for others, He can do it again for this person.



Scenes are from The Passion of the Christ. A movie I've never seen because I honestly don't think I could handle it.

After listening to this song, another song came to mind. There is no music or video clip of it on the internet that I've found. This song has touched me many times.

He Won't Give Up Easy

Verse I

Many times you heard the story
While sitting on your mother's knee.
You heard about how much He loved you.
About a place called Calvary.
But now the story's just a memory
Of a time so long ago.
But their love still seems to call you,
Though you're miles away from home.

And in the darkness of the midnight
When nothing seems to ease the pain.
When there's no one else to cling to,
You hear Him softly call your name.

Chorus

He won't give up easy.
You're forever on His mind.
He won't give up easy.
He's just not the quittin' kind.

Verse II

You gave yourself to sin completely.
You gave it all you had to give.
And now you lie awake and wonder
If your sins He will forgive.
But if you could know how long He's watched you,
Just hoping you would change your mind.
While you've been chasing after rainbows,
He's waited patiently in line.

And if tonight while He is calling,
You turn your back and walk away.
Just remember while you're running,
He's watching every step you take.

Chorus

He won't give up easy.
You're forever on His mind.
He won't give up easy.
He's just not the quittin' kind.

Chicken Giardino

I made that pasta dish (click here also) again last night and this time I remembered to take a few pictures. It's basically chicken giardino (a dish they used to serve at Olive Garden), so that's what I'm going to call it. I tried the actual chicken giardino recipe a couple years ago and it didn't turn out as well as I had hoped. This version has turned out much better each time I've made it.

First, I cut up three boneless, skinless chicken breasts into chunks and cooked them in extra virgin olive oil. I added salt and pepper to them while they cooked.

I then removed the chicken, added a little more olive oil to the pan, and chopped up two garlic cloves and added them to the pan as well.

Next, I added some chicken broth, two tablespoons of butter, and after the butter melted, I poured in some milk. (I'm sorry that I don't use measurements for this. I just eyeball it.)

Once that got to simmering again, I added in some flour and let that mixture cook, stirring often, until the flour was dissolved. Then I added a few dashes of rosemary, thyme and basil. (I go by taste for this and add more if needed.) If it starts looking a little thick or like it won't be enough to cover the pasta, I just add more chicken broth, and then more seasoning if necessary. I have the penne cooking while I'm making the sauce. You can use farfalle if you prefer.

Once the sauce looks and tastes just about right, I squeeze in the juice of 1½ to 2 lemons. You can also sprinkle in some red pepper flakes if you want it a little spicy.


I then add in the chicken and the drained pasta, allowing it to simmer long enough for the chicken to be hot all the way through. Sorry about the blurry picture.

Kelly and I both loved this! We practically attacked it after the first bite. It was incredibly delicious, even if I do say so myself. The lemon is my favorite part. But then I absolutely love lemon with chicken.

Garlic bread is really good with this meal. And you can also add a couple vegetables to the dish if you like. (I hate vegetables.) Maybe red and green bell peppers, and/or carrot strips, and/or peas.

Movies

The Blind Side: Great movie. I definitely recommend it. That Southern Christian Republicans aren't portrayed as intolerant, cold-hearted, ignorant bigots is a pleasant surprise in something that came out of Hollywood. Which is more in line with the Southern Christian Republicans I know. But of course that's not at all what the movie is about.

A tough, Southern woman with a warm heart takes in a homeless boy and greatly improves his life. But he makes a difference in her life as well and the lives of her family.

One of my favorite lines, said by Tim McGraw's character: "Who would've thought we'd have a black son before we knew a Democrat?"

Sherlock Holmes: I've never read any of the Sherlock Holmes stories, so I don't know how different the movie is from the book(s). I suspect though that the Sherlock Holmes of the books was not as brawling and sometimes dirty as the movie Sherlock Holmes.

My kids and I liked the movie. There's a lot of humor in it and the action is fun.

The Young Victoria: Visually beautiful film. I loved the costumes and the palaces. I also loved Emily Blunt as Queen Victoria and Rupert Friend was good as her Prince Albert. Queen Victoria's love for her husband was true and strong, just as love should be, and it never died even long after Prince Albert's death.

Did You Hear About the Morgans?: Not nearly as funny as I hoped it would be. There were very few laughs. But it wasn't a bad movie. It passed the time. My favorite thing about the movie is its message that if you really love someone, you can make it through the mountains and valleys that are not only normal in a marriage (though there's nothing normal about adultery), but should also be expected.

This and That - Updated

Kelly got a Star Reader Award at school the other day. "For being a hard worker and showing a love for reading!"

We need a new lawn mower. Apparently the one we have has given up the ghost.

The pain in my ovaries seems to have increased in frequency and intensity. It's not horrible or anything, certainly nowhere close to how bad the pain is when a cyst ruptures, but it is obviously a little worse lately.

I watched The Blind Side a couple nights ago. Great movie.

After getting groceries yesterday, Kelly and I ate at La Hacienda (nothing like yummy, cheap Mexican food), played a little tennis and then came home and watched New Moon. (She really wanted to see it again. She loves the wolves). Mom got Sean from school since it was her day off.

I tried to watch the new Eclipse trailer online awhile ago only to discover that my computer no longer has sound for some reason. It was working fine the other day. I've tried fixing it to no avail. When I turn the speakers up I can hear them buzzing/humming, so I think it's the computer and not the speakers.

***UPDATE*** I've got the sound fixed. I went to Settings, Control Panel, Sounds and Audio Devices (I thought I'd gone to the right place before, but I hadn't), and under the Volume tab I saw that the "Mute" box was checked. I don't know how that happened. I unchecked it and now I can hear things on my computer again. Yay! So of course I immediately viewed the Eclipse trailer with sound. :-)

Quizzes and Surveys

I'm bored and took a few quizzes at Facebook. Here are the results. I may post something more interesting later.

What "Why Did I Get Married?" Character are you?

Result: Sheila

"You are the definition of a real lover. You love unconditionally. Anyone who meets you is really blessed. You love hard. Sometimes you are blinded by love and you let others walk over you. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You are too good to settle for less."

Which mighty woman of the Bible are you most like?

Result: You are most like ESTHER

"You have a charisma; a way of having favor with people. You are beautiful in spirit, and when you are in dire situations, you tend to seek God to find your courage to overcome them. When the need arises, you will stand firm in your faith. You are true royalty, with your humble & gentle spirit you maintain, in spite of your obvious popularity."

As I said at Facebook, I don't know about charisma or popularity, but the rest pretty much fits.

What Country Song Tells Your Story?

The result is Love Story - Taylor Swift.

"You are completely and utterly in love and can't imagine yourself with anyone else. You're a dreamer, and just want your "happily ever after." To you, life is a fairy tale, and you want your love story to fit the description perfectly. You are usually optimistic and always want the best for everbody, but sometimes you doubt yourself and lose confidence in others. Don't worry, your prince will be here soon to sweep you off your feet and make everything ok."

I don't listen to country music, but I've heard this song a few times. I'd say this description fits me.

The Real You.

The result is The True Believer.

"You've been through a lot in your life. Broken and bruised, you still keep going. You tend to hold promises dear to yourself. You would never lie to yourself. You believe in people and you see the true beauty in everything. Family and friends, whether small or big, you keep them close to you; they mean everything to you. You couldn't bear to break anyone; it would hurt you the most. You don't believe in happy endings, but you do believe that there is always light to every dark; hope to every lost cause; beauty in the filth; two sides to every story. You believe that no one should be alone; you've been through that as well. Congratulations, true believer; keep being honest to yourself and others. Let no one tell you otherwise. You walk a long road, believer. Don't stop."

Mostly true. Though I do believe in happy endings.


Surveys:

5 Things I Want Right Now!

1. My husband
2. Better camera
3. A bigger house
4. Money (Because things are too tight.)
5. Gourmet kitchen


5 Things I'm Addicted To:

1. Books
2. Italian Food
3. Walking in the woods at the park.
4. Photography
5. Trying new recipes.

Someone to Watch Over Me

Before going back to sleep, I wanted to post this song that's on my mind.



There's a saying old says that love is blind.
Still we're often told seek and ye shall find.
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind.
Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet.
He's the big affair I cannot forget.
Only man I ever think of with regret.

I'd like to add his initial to my monogram.
Tell me where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There's a somebody I'm longing to see.
I hope that he turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me.

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood.
I know I could always be good
To one who'll watch over me.

Although he may not be the man some girls think of as handsome,
To my heart he carries the key.

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed?
Follow my lead.
Oh how I need
Someone to watch over me.

Award

Southern Belle Mama gave me an award. I just started following her a couple weeks ago. Y'all should check her out. :-)



So now I have to list some random stuff about me. I did a longer list like this not long ago. I'll see if I can come up with some new things.

1. I would love to have a more professional camera and perhaps be a freelance photographer.

2. I have a better understanding of what God wants me to be as woman, a wife and a mother as a result of the trial I've been going through. Now I just have to trust that God is going to work things out so that I'm not pressured or forced to do the opposite. Standing up for what's right ain't easy. But then doing the right thing rarely is the easy thing.

3. I sometimes think of cooking professionaly out of my home. (Not big time catering though.) But I would need to take some classes and buy a bigger home with a more professional kitchen. That's me for you. Always dreaming.

4. The kids and I played tennis the other night, which I just wrote about in my previous entry. It was the first time I've played since middle school and I really enjoyed it. We might have to make that a weekly activity. Especially since my kids love it so much.

5. I often dream of disappearing. To live simpler (though not in a "roughing it" sort of way), away from government interference (no, I'm not into anything illegal; except for maybe stealing water on occasion), somewhere in the boonies of North Carolina or New Zealand or Italy. There's something very attractive about living a peaceful life in my own world, surrounded by nature. But there would have to be good shopping and restaurants a couple hours' drive away. I know it's not realistic, but some dreams need to be like that.

6. I am sometimes tempted to "floor it" when driving. I would never give in though. Maybe I should become a drag racer. My husband has a car I could drive. lol

7. I've recently become addicted to fried potatoes. I have to limit myself to making and eating them only a couple times a week though. I know they're not good for me. Why do some of the bad foods taste the best?

8. I think I'm becoming a simpler person in some ways. I seem, in my own eyes anyway, to be less fussy and particular. Lower maintenance. I still love being feminine and girly though. Perhaps it's my age. Or perhaps it's because of the trial I'm going through. Or it could be the time I've been spending out in nature the past several months. I think maybe it's a combination of the three.

9. As sweet as I am (lol), I'm also very stubborn. Especially when it comes to what's right. I'm not going to give up or let go if I know that what I'm standing for or fighting for is supported by God's Word. These are personal and mostly private battles I'm referring to though. I'm not going to march on Washington or participate in a protest of some kind. I'll leave that to others.

10. I wish I was a stronger, tougher person. I'm too easy on people when they hurt me or disappoint me. I forgive right away (most of the time) and wait for them (prayerfully) to "get right", without telling them off or kicking them out of my life.

And now to give this award to some others.

Susanne - Most of what she rights is an honest look at scripture and Biblical principles. She tells things how she sees them, in a sweet and gentle way. Unless we're talking cruel religious oppression of women.

Patsy at Gonzos in Costa Rica

Livy at Raising Rabat

Carolyn at Life in Graz

I'm a Thief

Or, I was one. Temporarily.

When the kids and I got groceries yesterday, I walked out of the store with my buggy full of groceries without paying for the case of water I'd picked up. I completely forgot it was there, on the bottom part below the main part of the buggy (what do they call that part?), until I got to my car and started putting the groceries into the back of my car. We had to walk all the way back into the store (we weren't parked very close) so that I could pay for it. I was kind of embarrassed, but apparently no one had even noticed.

I got the water on sale though, so that was good. It was almost $2 off.

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At a little after 7:00 PM, the kids and I went to the tennis courts at Oka T. Hester Park. None of us are that great at playing tennis (Kelly made some great serves though), there was a lot of chasing down of balls, but we had fun. We would've stayed longer, but Kelly's stomach started hurting so we had to leave at around 8:45.

I forgot to bring my camera until after we had left the house. Annoying. But I didn't want to turn around and go back for it. So no pictures to share. :-/

When we got home, changed into more comfortable clothes and grabbed some snacks out of the kitchen, we sat on the couch and watched New Moon on Blu-Ray. The kids had never seen it and really wanted to. They both enjoyed the movie.

I then showed them the best parts of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. (Kelly had seen the movie before, so it wasn't new to her.) There was something from the movie that Kelly and I had been imitating the past couple weeks (out of the blue; we hadn't actually watched the movie in a long time) and I wanted to show Sean. It's the part where the brothers are kidnapping the girls in town and the youngest brother, Gideon, is meowing to try to get Alice to come out. We especially like when his brother Benjamin tells him to hurry it up and so he starts meowing faster.


Fast forward to 1:18 for the meowing scene.

After watching the meowing scene, we watched other parts of the movie and then the kids went to bed.

Gone Fishin'

Mom and I took the kids to the park yesterday to do some more fishing. We had a bit of a struggle with the poles - the hooks, the bait (I bought some fake bait), the lines, the sinkers. (I think we should've used those colorful floaty kind, but we didn't have any.) My husband usually does all that, but there was a man there fishing who helped us.

Unfortunately, the fish weren't biting, so we didn't catch anything. Didn't even get a nibble.

The man in the background is the one who was helping us.

The kids and I just got back from getting groceries. We're going to go to a different park and play tennis in about an hour. We're going to watch a movie when we get back home.

Park Fun, Fishing and Good Grades

While the kids were in school on Friday, I did the grocery shopping and bought Sean's birthday presents.

After bringing the groceries and presents home and getting Kelly from school, we went clothes shopping for her. With the weather turning warmer, it's that time for new spring/summer wardrobes.

I got Kelly two cute skirts and a white denim jacket at JC Penney, all for half off. At The Children's Place, I got her three shirts that were on sale for about $4 each. I love it when one of my kids or myself are in need of something and we find what we need for a great price.

We met Mom and Sean at Olive Garden around 4:15. Sean was really wanting to eat there for his birthday dinner. We hadn't eaten there in a few months. Mom and I got the pasta e fagioli soup. It tasted so good. Exactly what my tastebuds were wanting. Kelly got the grilled chicken with broccoli and spaghetti. Sean got his usual fried chicken strips. For dessert, we ordered the zeppoli. Yum!

We came home after that and Sean opened his presents - Transformers and Bakugans.

Saturday was Sean's party. He really enjoyed his day and the yummy and moist chocolate cake.

Sean spent the night with Mom Saturday night so that he could go to church with her Sunday morning. Kelly and I ended up not going. I woke up once feeling fine and then laid back down for a couple more hours sleep. When I woke up the second time, I felt very sick with nausea, headache and no energy. I stayed on the couch most of the day. I started feeling better later that night.

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The kids and I went to the park yesterday after I picked them up from their schools. We went to the playground with the swings first. The kids played on the swings and the slides for about an hour. I was surprised that we had it to ourselves.

Wearing one of her new tops and one of her new skirts.

Then we went to the other playground (the only swing it has is a tire swing), where there's a lake nearby. They played there for a bit also after we took a short walk on the top of the hill near the lake.

While they were playing on the playground, they saw a man setting up to go fishing and went to check it out. The man was there with his two kids. (A boy around Sean's age and a girl around 15 or 16.) The man was very nice and handed Sean and Kelly both a fishing pole to go fishing with. His two kids did a little fishing too, but weren't as into it as Sean and Kelly were. Especially the boy.

The kids fished for a couple hours. Kelly caught a clam and Sean caught the only fish.

If you enlarge, you can see a couple ducks on the water.

We finally left at a little after 7:00 PM and headed home. After washing my hands, I made arroz con pollo for supper (so good!) and we watched some TV (Little People, Big World and something else I can't remember) while we ate and while I helped Kelly with her homework.

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The kids got their report cards yesterday.

Kelly got a 99/A in Reading (up from a 90/B), a 100/A in Spelling (down from a 106/A), a 94/A in Math (same grade as last report card), and a 95/A in Social Studies. (Last grading period, they did science instead of social studies. She had gotten a 97/A in that.) She got Satisfactories in Art, Music, P.E. and Computer Skills. She got Outstandings in Conduct and Work Habits.

Teacher's comments: "Kelly is always such a joy to teach! I'm proud of her!"

When Sean returned to school after being sick with pneumonia, his teachers gave him work and tests on things he wasn't there to learn. Two of his grades suffered for it on his last report card. On this report card, he brought one back up to where it had been prior to getting sick and the other up by just one grade.

He got a B in Math (it was a B last time also), a D in Social Studies (up from an F - one of the subjects he struggled in because his teachers gave him work and tests on things he wasn't there to learn), a B in Science (up from a D last time - same reason as SS), a B in Language Arts (same as last time), an A in P.E./Health (same grade as last time), and an A in Band (same as last time).

So he missed being on A/B honor roll by one subject. Hopefully he can get his Social Studies grade up to at least a B next time.

I'm very proud of my kids and how well they did on their report cards. :-)

My Son's Birthday - Photo UPDATE

Thirteen years ago yesterday, my son Sean was born. I was surprised when I found out I was pregnant with him. I didn't really want kids, didn't like them really, but I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant.

My husband and I weren't doing great financially, at times we struggled (even with both of us working), but I trusted God. We were living in La Grange at the time, but we had been wanting to move back to Greensboro for some time. Which we did when I was 9 months pregnant. Two weeks later, Sean was born.

Unfortunately I have no baby pictures scanned of Sean.

He was due on April 18th, but at an appointment with my doctor on April 9th, I found out I was in labor and was sent across the street to the hospital. I was immediately given an epidural after changing into a hospital gown and then they broke my water. I don't remember how much time went by before it was decided that I needed a c-section. As would happen when I was in labor with Kelly a few years later, Sean wasn't descending. I made it only to 4 cm. with him before my doctor ordered the c-section.

The c-section was difficult for me and as soon as they cut the cord, they injected some kind of medication into my IV. I saw Sean briefly (but barely, since I didn't have my glasses on) before my eyes rolled back in my head and I was out.

Sean was born at 6:24 PM weighing 8 lbs. 7 oz. He was the spitting image of Charlie. I joked that I must have just dreamed that I gave birth and that Charlie must've had Sean by himself.

Age 4.

Age 5, at the Ft. Fisher Aquarium.

Age 5. Trying to be like Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Sean has been all boy right from the start. He's always loved cars, especially the crashes (I can still hear his little 3-4 year old voice saying "cwash!" whenever he'd make his toy cars crash), racing and all kinds of sports - football, basketball, golf, tennis, baseball, soccer.

Age 6.

Age 7. Easter 2004.

He also enjoys reading, watching shows about tornadoes, astronomy, and playing video games.

Age 8.

Sean's 9th birthday.

Age 10.

He was always a stubborn boy, but sweet-natured, affectionate and goofy. For many years our pastor and another minister in our church were his heroes. I can still remember so well watching him "preach" to his stuffed animals, wearing only a diaper and yelling into a toy microphone. One of our favorite memories of him "preaching" is when he pointed at a stuffed monkey and said, "Hallelujah, monkey!!".

He doesn't "preach" anymore, but he still loves his pastor. He also loves and looks up to his father, as most boys do, and it kills him (and angers him) that Daddy is gone so much. :-(

Up until Sean was about 6 years old, he was quite shy (though not as shy as Kelly has been), but around age 6 he really came out of his shell. Ever since then, no one is a stranger to him. Which can be scary, especially when he wanders away and you find him talking to someone you don't know, but I'm also glad that he's friendly and enjoys talking to people. And he's quite the talker. Much more than Kelly.

Sean's 11th birthday.

Sean's 12th birthday.

Sean's always had an independent streak, and it's only gotten worse/better over the years. I try to keep him reined in a bit and I try to protect him, but I also don't want to stifle him. Especially now that he's a teenager. I know that it's time for him to start figuring out who he is and what he wants in life. And I want him to always be brave enough to step out and try things and meet people and be himself. While also hopefully using wisdom. Something I know will take time.

I think he probably feels more ready to go his own way in some areas than I am to allow it. He's my son and, being a mom, I worry. I know I always will. But I can't hold him back or stunt his growth in life. It scares me to loosen the reins, but I'm gradually working my way towards that.

Though I can see him changing and growing all the time, in many ways he's still so young. He's still quite immature, as all 13-year-old boys are, and he still likes to play with toys. But in another year or so, the toys will probably be gone for the most part (their toys only get bigger and more expensive), and he'll be much more interested in girls. (He doesn't seem too interested at the moment.) I don't look forward to the drama and struggles to come. Those teen years are notoriously difficult. But I do look forward to the good man I believe he will become.

May God give me patience in the process, and wisdom, and I pray God keeps His hands on my son.

Sean at his 13th birthday party. Saturday, April 10, 2010.

Rambling Down Memory Lane

I reckon I'm feeling a little country at the moment. I was getting tired of my previous background and in my search for a new one, I was drawn to the one I have now.

As I've said before (in my old blog, not linked to in my profile), a true Southerner will have at least a touch of country in 'em. :-)

When my brother and I were little and living in Boiling Spring Lakes, along the North Carolina coast, we went everywhere barefooted. (Well, except for church. We put on shoes for that.) It didn't matter if the black pavement in the grocery store parking lot was hot as fire, nor did it matter that we were always getting sandspurs in our feet, stepping on itch weed and having to dodge fire ant mounds while playing in the yard, we were barefooted.

One of my favorite pictures of my brother and I is of us standing on the docks in Southport, NC, where our dad worked as a fisherman and clammer. My brother was 4 years old and I was 5. I'm wearing a gold/tan dress, my favorite for a long time, and we're both barefooted. I need to scan and post it sometime. My mom loves the picture so much that she had it blown up years ago, framed it and hung it on her wall.

We lived on a dirt (well, sand) road in Boiling Spring Lakes. My paternal grandparents lived maybe ¼ mile up the road from us and many times I would just up and start walking to their house to see my grandma. She and I were always very close. I spent the night with her often when I was little, up until we moved to Oklahoma. (We lived in several other places after that.) She would make what she called "Jesus bread" for me all the time. It was just flour tortillas heated in the oven with butter melted over it, but I loved it. She also made me a red satin nightgown (red was my favorite color then) with a robe to match when I was about 4 or 5.

She passed away in June of 1997 after less than a year of battling lung cancer. (She wasn't a smoker.) Sean was only 2½ months old at the time. I'm glad she got to see him and hold him before she died. I often wish she could've lived long enough to really get to know Sean and to also get to know Kelly. I wish they could've known her too. She would've adored them. And they would've loved her. She was very funny and I believe she would've had them laughing like she always had me (and the rest of our family) laughing.

I think most of the time she was unintentionally funny. It was just the way she said and did things, and how she often got my cousins and I mixed up. "Shannon, Jessica, Christine, ... Niki! You know who you are."

Grandma was mostly Irish (her dad was Irish and her mom was Dutch and Irish) and her birthday was on St. Patrick's Day. She didn't have an Irish name though, other than her maiden name - Tracy. She was from Masssachusetts (Springfield) and most of her surviving siblings and their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids still live up that way.

I'd love to someday find out more about my ancestry on her side (and all sides) and hopefully trace it back as far as I can in Ireland. All I know about her father, other than him being Irish and his name of course (William), is that he hated Italians. I have no idea why. I find it funny that he hated Italians and my pastor is Italian. Wonder what ol' Great-Grandpa Tracy would think of that. ;-)

My paternal grandpa's people were from Oklahoma and were Irish, Welsh and Cherokee. One of his brothers was killed by the police when he was in his late teens/early twenties. Grandpa and his brother Owen had picked up a hitch-hiker, not knowing he was running from the law, and when the police caught up to them I reckon they thought my grandpa and his brother were with him. They shot at the car, killing Uncle Owen, who was in the backseat. Shoot first, ask questions later. :-/ Grandpa was arrested and spent a few months in jail before things got cleared up.

Well, I hadn't intended to get into family history when I started this entry. I'm sorry if I bored anyone who may have bothered to show up at my little blog and read this.