I thought I didn't really have any hopes for this year, but then I got to thinking and realized that I do. lol
So, here they are in no particular order. My hopes, dreams, and goals for 2019.
1. That God will heal my friend Joni of cancer. Things are not looking good right now.
2. That my kids will figure out what they want to do with their lives, pursue it, and succeed.
3. That we will do what needs to be done to our house to get it ready to sell. There are repairs, touch-up painting, de-cluttering, and rearranging that needs to be done.
4. If we put our house back on the market this year, that it will sell for what the asking price will be (or more) and that we can move to a bigger place in the country with some land and no close neighbors. I want a room for my library and I need a bigger kitchen with more counter space.
5. Pray more and read my Bible more.
6. Try to read more books.
7. I'd love for our church to grow spiritually and physically.
8. Be healed of PCOS and all symptoms gone. I want my hair back (normal thickness and several more inches in length), excess weight gone, better skin, risk of cancer, diabetes, stroke, and heart attack gone, etc.
9. That my kids will get closer to God.
10. That Charlie will get a raise and be able to get the truck he needs.
11. Finally tackle my closet and be able to bring myself to get rid of some things. There are clothes I haven't worn in quite awhile, but I'm having a hard time getting rid of them. lol
12. If I could finally break through some of the brick walls in my family tree, that would be awesome!
I could possibly add more to this if I thought long enough, but I'm going to stop here.
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~*~Nocturnal Queen~*~
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Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Friday, January 2, 2015
Hopes for 2015
Just as with the memes I've done recently and my books and movies entry, this too is an annual blog entry for me. My hopes and dreams for the year.
1. That Charlie will get back in church with me and our kids.
2. That my brother will come to church more regularly (rather than just a few times a year) and that his wife and their boys will also start coming.
3. Healing for my body - PCOS gone.
4. To read more books this year than I did last year.
5. To pray more and read my Bible more.
6. That everyone in my family who quit church/serving God so many years ago will finally come back to God and that those who haven't given their lives to God yet will do so this year.
7. That this will be a healthy, godly, and prosperous year for me and my family.
8. That our regular church attendance will finally reach 400 and not just on Easter or other special occasions. We're not too far from it now. We average between 340 and 360 on Sundays. This time last year we were averaging about 260-300.
9. That everyone who quit going to our church over the years (and still live in Greensboro) will come back. We love them and miss having them in church with us.
10. To be a better wife and mother. Not that I'm a bad one now. lol I'm actually a pretty good one. Or so they tell me. Haha. But there's always room for improvement, right?
11. To be a little less of a "nocturnal queen". lol I was doing pretty good there for awhile. (Well, pretty good for me anyway.) But now I'm back to my old late-night ways. There's just something about the stillness of the middle of the night. The peace and quiet that introverts like me crave. I can focus on the things I really enjoy doing - reading, blogging, working on the family tree, or whatever else I desire - without having to worry about a loud TV or noisy people (outside and inside) or phone calls/texts or someone coming to the door, etc. The dogs still bark sometimes, but I reckon you can't always have things exactly how you want them. lol
1. That Charlie will get back in church with me and our kids.
2. That my brother will come to church more regularly (rather than just a few times a year) and that his wife and their boys will also start coming.
3. Healing for my body - PCOS gone.
4. To read more books this year than I did last year.
5. To pray more and read my Bible more.
6. That everyone in my family who quit church/serving God so many years ago will finally come back to God and that those who haven't given their lives to God yet will do so this year.
7. That this will be a healthy, godly, and prosperous year for me and my family.
8. That our regular church attendance will finally reach 400 and not just on Easter or other special occasions. We're not too far from it now. We average between 340 and 360 on Sundays. This time last year we were averaging about 260-300.
9. That everyone who quit going to our church over the years (and still live in Greensboro) will come back. We love them and miss having them in church with us.
10. To be a better wife and mother. Not that I'm a bad one now. lol I'm actually a pretty good one. Or so they tell me. Haha. But there's always room for improvement, right?
11. To be a little less of a "nocturnal queen". lol I was doing pretty good there for awhile. (Well, pretty good for me anyway.) But now I'm back to my old late-night ways. There's just something about the stillness of the middle of the night. The peace and quiet that introverts like me crave. I can focus on the things I really enjoy doing - reading, blogging, working on the family tree, or whatever else I desire - without having to worry about a loud TV or noisy people (outside and inside) or phone calls/texts or someone coming to the door, etc. The dogs still bark sometimes, but I reckon you can't always have things exactly how you want them. lol
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Strange Dream
I had a strange dream last night. I had just stepped into a fitting room when a woman (who I assume works at the store where I was shopping) asked me to step out so she could talk to me. I thought she was going to accuse me of something. We sat down and she warned me that a plague was about to sweep across the world and that whatever I was going to do, I needed to do it now.
I immediately left the store and on my way out, I saw my husband's family from Oklahoma and told them about the plague and that if they were going to go back to OK that they needed to do it now while it was still safe to fly.
I then went home, which happened to be in a huge field (wheat?) surrounded by trees. I got out my Bible to see what it said about the plague. (I don't know what kind of plague it was and apparently it hadn't made the news yet as it was yet to begin.) As I read my Bible aloud to my family (we were standing outside in the field), a vision of what I was reading appeared before us. I don't remember much about the vision. I remember immodestly dressed people in white and a strong wind sweeping across the field and blowing away the wheat. The people were afraid. Some were too scared to move; others ran.
Either what I read in the Bible (and I don't know yet what it really says) or a voice said that the plague would last either 6 months or a year and 6 months.
The dream probably doesn't mean anything, but as I typed this out I got a little choked up.
I immediately left the store and on my way out, I saw my husband's family from Oklahoma and told them about the plague and that if they were going to go back to OK that they needed to do it now while it was still safe to fly.
I then went home, which happened to be in a huge field (wheat?) surrounded by trees. I got out my Bible to see what it said about the plague. (I don't know what kind of plague it was and apparently it hadn't made the news yet as it was yet to begin.) As I read my Bible aloud to my family (we were standing outside in the field), a vision of what I was reading appeared before us. I don't remember much about the vision. I remember immodestly dressed people in white and a strong wind sweeping across the field and blowing away the wheat. The people were afraid. Some were too scared to move; others ran.
Either what I read in the Bible (and I don't know yet what it really says) or a voice said that the plague would last either 6 months or a year and 6 months.
The dream probably doesn't mean anything, but as I typed this out I got a little choked up.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Hopes for 2014
1. That my husband will get back in church with me and our kids.
2. That my husband and I will be able to take that trip to Hawaii we're hoping for this year.
3. Healing for my body.
4. To pray more and read my Bible more.
5. That the rest of my family who haven't given their lives to God yet will do so this year and that the ones who've walked away from God will come back.
6. That my kids will grow closer to God.
7. That this year will be a healthy, godly, and prosperous one for me and my family.
8. To read more books than I did last year.
2. That my husband and I will be able to take that trip to Hawaii we're hoping for this year.
3. Healing for my body.
4. To pray more and read my Bible more.
5. That the rest of my family who haven't given their lives to God yet will do so this year and that the ones who've walked away from God will come back.
6. That my kids will grow closer to God.
7. That this year will be a healthy, godly, and prosperous one for me and my family.
8. To read more books than I did last year.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year!
May 2013 be a year of joy, love, peace, good health, blessing, and faith.
My hopes and desires for the year:
1. A spiritual hope for my husband and our family.
2. A spiritual hope for my daughter.
3. Healing for my body.
4. Vacation in Southport, NC, (or the Outer Banks) this summer.
5. To pray more and read my Bible more.
6. To read more books than I did last year.
7. That my kids and I would improve and grow in our homeschooling efforts.
8. That we can put our house on the market again this year, that it will sell, that we will make a profit, and that we can then buy the kind of house in the country that we want to grow old in.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Hopes for 2012
1. A spiritual hope for my husband and our family.
2. A spiritual hope for my daughter.
3. Healing for my body.
4. Vacation in Southport, NC, this summer.
5. To pray more and read my Bible more.
6. To read more books than I did in 2011.
2011 -- The first one finally happened in April, after more than a year. The third one happened in May. The fourth one happened in the spring.
2010
2009
2. A spiritual hope for my daughter.
3. Healing for my body.
4. Vacation in Southport, NC, this summer.
5. To pray more and read my Bible more.
6. To read more books than I did in 2011.
2011 -- The first one finally happened in April, after more than a year. The third one happened in May. The fourth one happened in the spring.
2010
2009
Monday, March 14, 2011
Easter shopping, Interesting dream, Songs, Quotes
Friday, Kelly and I went grocery shopping, as we always do on Fridays, and also went shopping for an Easter dress for Kelly. I didn't want to spend more than $30. We found a pretty white eyelet dress at JC Penney on sale for about $30. (I'll add a picture of the dress at a later time.) I'd like to get her a shrug and shoes in a pretty spring color, preferrably light pink. Aqua would also be pretty, but harder to find.
I did something Friday night I haven't done in a long time - slept nine hours. You would think I'd feel really rested and energized, but I actually felt tired and wiped out all day. :-/
On the bright side, I had a really great dream Friday night. Well, partly great. The great part: being intimate *ahem* with my husband in the hills of New Zealand. The not so great part: we were outside, so literally on one of the hills of New Zealand.
It felt great to be in church yesterday. It always does, but yesterday just felt nice in a different way somehow. Almost anticipatory. I don't know why. I hope it means things will be changing for the better soon in my life. I'm really beyond sick of things being the way they are. Unfortunately the changing of it is out of my hands beyond praying about it.
Anyway, we sang one of my favorite songs yesterday. To Worship You I Live. We could've sung it for a longer period of time and I would've been fine with it. I could feel God so strongly and I just wanted to stay in that place. The man at my church, the Spanish minister, who sings the lead does such an awesome job. He's very anointed.
It gets really good around 2:54.
On the subject of favorite songs, here's another:
And this one:
Ignore the guy with the guitar. This was the best YouTube video/audio of the song that I could find. I loooove this song. Parts of it sound like Irish gospel. lol Great lyrics in this song!
After getting home from church, I made brunch - eggs, bacon, toast, chocolate milk - and we watched our Tarheels get their butts kicked by the dookies in the ACC tournament. *sigh* It's like they weren't even really there. Oh, well.
I then fell asleep on the couch for a couple hours. When I woke up I made supper and watched The Amazing Race.
If by any chance anyone from Japan is reading this, my heart and prayers are with the Japanese people, as well as the people of Christchurch, NZ.
"Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death."
"To love someone is not just a strong feeling - it is a decision, a commitment, and a promise."
"Biblical love is not emotions or feelings, but attitudes and actions that seek the best interests of the other person, regardless of how we feel toward him [or her]." -- Jerry Bridges
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did something Friday night I haven't done in a long time - slept nine hours. You would think I'd feel really rested and energized, but I actually felt tired and wiped out all day. :-/
On the bright side, I had a really great dream Friday night. Well, partly great. The great part: being intimate *ahem* with my husband in the hills of New Zealand. The not so great part: we were outside, so literally on one of the hills of New Zealand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It felt great to be in church yesterday. It always does, but yesterday just felt nice in a different way somehow. Almost anticipatory. I don't know why. I hope it means things will be changing for the better soon in my life. I'm really beyond sick of things being the way they are. Unfortunately the changing of it is out of my hands beyond praying about it.
Anyway, we sang one of my favorite songs yesterday. To Worship You I Live. We could've sung it for a longer period of time and I would've been fine with it. I could feel God so strongly and I just wanted to stay in that place. The man at my church, the Spanish minister, who sings the lead does such an awesome job. He's very anointed.
It gets really good around 2:54.
On the subject of favorite songs, here's another:
And this one:
Ignore the guy with the guitar. This was the best YouTube video/audio of the song that I could find. I loooove this song. Parts of it sound like Irish gospel. lol Great lyrics in this song!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After getting home from church, I made brunch - eggs, bacon, toast, chocolate milk - and we watched our Tarheels get their butts kicked by the dookies in the ACC tournament. *sigh* It's like they weren't even really there. Oh, well.
I then fell asleep on the couch for a couple hours. When I woke up I made supper and watched The Amazing Race.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If by any chance anyone from Japan is reading this, my heart and prayers are with the Japanese people, as well as the people of Christchurch, NZ.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death."
"To love someone is not just a strong feeling - it is a decision, a commitment, and a promise."
"Biblical love is not emotions or feelings, but attitudes and actions that seek the best interests of the other person, regardless of how we feel toward him [or her]." -- Jerry Bridges
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Dreams and Expectations
I've been a dreamer all my life. I can still remember being awake in my bed late at night when I was a little girl and dreaming about going to Toys R Us and filling cart after cart with all the toys I wanted. Mostly Barbie stuff.
I no longer dream about shopping sprees at Toys R Us. My dreams these days are more adult and some are of a spiritual nature.
Other than my spiritual dreams, I don't really expect my dreams to come true. By that I mean that I don't demand it. I don't tell God to make my non-spiritual dreams come true and I don't make demands on my husband to make them happen either. And yet I sometimes feel like maybe Charlie feels pressured by my dreams. I'm really not sure why. I don't share my dreams with him often and I make no statements that would suggest that I expect him to make those dreams come true. Yet he's said things in the past about my wanting things we can't afford. I scratch my head and try to explain to him that I'm only dreaming and have never expected nor demanded that he do something about it.
For instance, I would love for us to have a bigger home. Something with four bedrooms (one of them would be for our library), a den, a fenced-in backyard, the 3-car garage Charlie wants. But this dream house, while larger than what we currently have, is not a mansion by any means, though he seems to think that I want some huge, expensive house. I would even be okay with this dream home needing some paint and updating. I try not to be too picky. I've shared this dream with Charlie a few times, but have made no demands and never said that I want anything huge or fancy. I'm really not the fancy type.
Another dream I have is to go to New Zealand and several European countries. Again, I haven't demanded it. In fact, if I ever get to visit another country I will be surprised.
Charlie hasn't really said anything about that dream, but I've gotten the impression a few times that for some reason he thinks that I expect him to make my dreams come true even though I've never said that I do. I've simply told him what my dreams are in life. Dreams and expectations are two different things.
I really don't know why he interprets my dreams as expectations. All I expect from him are the things that most wives expect of their husbands and the things that God's Word requires of husbands. Anything else really are just lovely little extras.
I've placed my dreams in God's hands. He's in control and if it's His will for whatever I dream to come to pass, it will happen. If not, I'm okay with that. As long as I have what truly counts in life - God, church, my husband, my kids, the basics of life, health, etc. - then that's all that truly matters.
It's my spiritual dreams that matter most to me. Spiritual dreams for myself, my husband, my kids and my church. These are the dreams I most desire to see come true. Dreams that are much more than dreams. They are, I believe, also necessary for our lives and for eternity. These dreams I do expect to come true and I will not be satisfied until they do. I pray daily that God will make these things happen and I have faith that they will. I can't imagine God not bringing these things to pass. Because He loves me and my family and because what I'm dreaming of and asking God for are supported by His Word.
"No person has the right to rain on your dreams." -- Martin Luther King
"If you can dream it, you can do it." -- Walt Disney
"All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers." -- Orison Swett Marde
"There's no excuse not to dream."
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” -- Henry David Thoreau
I no longer dream about shopping sprees at Toys R Us. My dreams these days are more adult and some are of a spiritual nature.
Other than my spiritual dreams, I don't really expect my dreams to come true. By that I mean that I don't demand it. I don't tell God to make my non-spiritual dreams come true and I don't make demands on my husband to make them happen either. And yet I sometimes feel like maybe Charlie feels pressured by my dreams. I'm really not sure why. I don't share my dreams with him often and I make no statements that would suggest that I expect him to make those dreams come true. Yet he's said things in the past about my wanting things we can't afford. I scratch my head and try to explain to him that I'm only dreaming and have never expected nor demanded that he do something about it.
For instance, I would love for us to have a bigger home. Something with four bedrooms (one of them would be for our library), a den, a fenced-in backyard, the 3-car garage Charlie wants. But this dream house, while larger than what we currently have, is not a mansion by any means, though he seems to think that I want some huge, expensive house. I would even be okay with this dream home needing some paint and updating. I try not to be too picky. I've shared this dream with Charlie a few times, but have made no demands and never said that I want anything huge or fancy. I'm really not the fancy type.
Another dream I have is to go to New Zealand and several European countries. Again, I haven't demanded it. In fact, if I ever get to visit another country I will be surprised.
Charlie hasn't really said anything about that dream, but I've gotten the impression a few times that for some reason he thinks that I expect him to make my dreams come true even though I've never said that I do. I've simply told him what my dreams are in life. Dreams and expectations are two different things.
I really don't know why he interprets my dreams as expectations. All I expect from him are the things that most wives expect of their husbands and the things that God's Word requires of husbands. Anything else really are just lovely little extras.
I've placed my dreams in God's hands. He's in control and if it's His will for whatever I dream to come to pass, it will happen. If not, I'm okay with that. As long as I have what truly counts in life - God, church, my husband, my kids, the basics of life, health, etc. - then that's all that truly matters.
It's my spiritual dreams that matter most to me. Spiritual dreams for myself, my husband, my kids and my church. These are the dreams I most desire to see come true. Dreams that are much more than dreams. They are, I believe, also necessary for our lives and for eternity. These dreams I do expect to come true and I will not be satisfied until they do. I pray daily that God will make these things happen and I have faith that they will. I can't imagine God not bringing these things to pass. Because He loves me and my family and because what I'm dreaming of and asking God for are supported by His Word.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"No person has the right to rain on your dreams." -- Martin Luther King
"If you can dream it, you can do it." -- Walt Disney
"All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers." -- Orison Swett Marde
"There's no excuse not to dream."
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” -- Henry David Thoreau
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Hopes for 2011
It's that time of year again when people start making their resolutions for the New Year. I don't make resolutions. I make a list of hopes for the year. You can find last year's list by clicking here. Some things on last year's list are also on this year's list.
Here is my list for 2011:
1. My number one hope is the same as last year's. That Charlie will be home more.
2. I hope God heals me of PCOS or that a cure is found.
3. We didn't get to go on vacation this past year. I really missed visiting my hometown of Southport, NC. Hopefully we can make it there this year.
4. I have no intentions of ever giving up on the hope and the dream and the desire for the situation I've been in for so long to improve. I pray God continues to give me the strength I need to hold on and to stand for what's right.
5. I thought I would read more than 12 books in 2010, but I didn't. The problem was that almost half of the books I read weren't all that interesting. I'm going to try to read more in 2011. Hopefully the reading choices I make this coming year will be much harder to put down. The first two books of 2011 are books I started this year - The Diary of Anne Frank and The Enchantress of Florence. I will try to finish them before starting a new book.
6. I'm going to try to take better pictures this year. I love photography and it's my hope that my new camera (thank you again, my husband!) will help me with my picture-taking.
7. Though I've grown much closer to God over the last year, I would like to draw even closer to Him. I cannot begin to tell how much He has helped me and comforted me and strengthened me. He saved my life in every way that a life can be saved. I owe Him my all.
8. It is my greatest desire that my family will draw closer to God as well. I long to have them serving God by my side - going to church with me, praying, reading their Bibles, worshipping God and obeying Him. I don't push. I pray for them and I try to be a good example.
There are other hopes and dreams I have that I can be more patient with. They can happen this year or next or the year after that. Just as long as they do happen.
Here is my list for 2011:
1. My number one hope is the same as last year's. That Charlie will be home more.
2. I hope God heals me of PCOS or that a cure is found.
3. We didn't get to go on vacation this past year. I really missed visiting my hometown of Southport, NC. Hopefully we can make it there this year.
4. I have no intentions of ever giving up on the hope and the dream and the desire for the situation I've been in for so long to improve. I pray God continues to give me the strength I need to hold on and to stand for what's right.
5. I thought I would read more than 12 books in 2010, but I didn't. The problem was that almost half of the books I read weren't all that interesting. I'm going to try to read more in 2011. Hopefully the reading choices I make this coming year will be much harder to put down. The first two books of 2011 are books I started this year - The Diary of Anne Frank and The Enchantress of Florence. I will try to finish them before starting a new book.
6. I'm going to try to take better pictures this year. I love photography and it's my hope that my new camera (thank you again, my husband!) will help me with my picture-taking.
7. Though I've grown much closer to God over the last year, I would like to draw even closer to Him. I cannot begin to tell how much He has helped me and comforted me and strengthened me. He saved my life in every way that a life can be saved. I owe Him my all.
8. It is my greatest desire that my family will draw closer to God as well. I long to have them serving God by my side - going to church with me, praying, reading their Bibles, worshipping God and obeying Him. I don't push. I pray for them and I try to be a good example.
There are other hopes and dreams I have that I can be more patient with. They can happen this year or next or the year after that. Just as long as they do happen.
Monday, September 27, 2010
This and That
Saturday, Mom, Kelly and I went to my Aunt Stella's birthday party. She turns 50 in a few days. Her and Uncle Marty (one of my dad's brothers) live in Stedman, outside of Fayetteville. There were more people there than I expected - family and church friends. It was good spending time with family and eating yummy food.
Sean went to a drag race with our neighbor Anthony and our former neighbor Larry that day. Anthony's wife Felicia was going to go too, but didn't. Sean had a really great time. I'm glad he was able to go. He really loves racing, a love he gets from Charlie, but hasn't been to a race in I don't know how long. Doing something really loud and masculine was good for him.
We got home from the party sometime after 8:00 PM. Sean got home from the track sometime after 10:00. They would've stayed longer, but it got rained out at the end.
I got a couple loads of laundry done Saturday night and then finished laundry, including folding and putting away, yesterday evening after church. Can you handle the excitement? ;-)
We're getting some much needed rain today. It started yesterday evening and is supposed to continue through tomorrow. We were a few inches below normal rainfall, so the rain is very welcome. As are the much cooler temperatures. We hit 95° on Wednesday or Thursday, 92° on Saturday. Yesterday and today have been in the 70s.
I had a strange dream when I took a nap today. I dreamed that Charlie was in the military and was being sent to Iraq or Afghanistan. He kissed me passionately and said that it had been too long since *ahem*. I was thrilled, but also felt shy. Then apparently there was going to be a special dinner and I was in a room with a bunch of other military wives who were getting all dolled up. Kelly was there and was helping me put my dress on, which was pink and black. Strange dream.
Welp, time to get the arroz con pollo started. One of my favorite meals that I cook.
I've really been enjoying this song lately. It's been out for several years. I've been listening to the CD anytime I'm in the car.
Though this video shows that the song is on the Free to Worship CD, it's actually on the Purpose by Design CD.
Sean went to a drag race with our neighbor Anthony and our former neighbor Larry that day. Anthony's wife Felicia was going to go too, but didn't. Sean had a really great time. I'm glad he was able to go. He really loves racing, a love he gets from Charlie, but hasn't been to a race in I don't know how long. Doing something really loud and masculine was good for him.
We got home from the party sometime after 8:00 PM. Sean got home from the track sometime after 10:00. They would've stayed longer, but it got rained out at the end.
I got a couple loads of laundry done Saturday night and then finished laundry, including folding and putting away, yesterday evening after church. Can you handle the excitement? ;-)
We're getting some much needed rain today. It started yesterday evening and is supposed to continue through tomorrow. We were a few inches below normal rainfall, so the rain is very welcome. As are the much cooler temperatures. We hit 95° on Wednesday or Thursday, 92° on Saturday. Yesterday and today have been in the 70s.
I had a strange dream when I took a nap today. I dreamed that Charlie was in the military and was being sent to Iraq or Afghanistan. He kissed me passionately and said that it had been too long since *ahem*. I was thrilled, but also felt shy. Then apparently there was going to be a special dinner and I was in a room with a bunch of other military wives who were getting all dolled up. Kelly was there and was helping me put my dress on, which was pink and black. Strange dream.
Welp, time to get the arroz con pollo started. One of my favorite meals that I cook.
I've really been enjoying this song lately. It's been out for several years. I've been listening to the CD anytime I'm in the car.
Though this video shows that the song is on the Free to Worship CD, it's actually on the Purpose by Design CD.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Just Dreaming
I saw a snippet on TV about a man who had won millions playing the lottery. And then Kelly asked me last night what I would do with the money if I won "29 million dollars". (I don't think the man had won that amount. I think it's just the amount my daughter came up with.) She said something about what she would buy - toys and clothes, no surprise there. I told her that the Bible tells us to be good stewards of our money. And that it's fine to buy things just because you want them as long as important things are taken care of first and a good chunk put into savings. Yeah, I know, that's boring to a 10 year old, but hopefully she'll remember that teaching. I'll try to teach it to her and Sean every chance I get.
I did get to thinking about what I would do if I won millions of dollars. Tithes would be paid first. I would ask my pastor not to tell anyone that it was from me. I'm not interested in any glory. I would love to see my pastor's face if he got a big check like that. We could pay off our building and take care of some needs our church has.
I would then put our current house on the market and buy a bigger place for me and my family in a better school district. Not a mansion by any means. I'm not the mansion type. Around 2500 square feet, give or take, would be fine. Something with four bedrooms (the fourth would be for my library/office), a three-car garage for Charlie (that was one of the things he asked for when we had our house on the market a couple years ago and were house hunting), a living room and a den (for our home theater), formal dining room, a large kitchen with an island and a breakfast nook, 2½ bathrooms, a wrap-around front porch (Southerners love big porches), and a large fenced-in backyard. I would want the house to sit on a bunch of land with lots of trees, somewhere out in the country.
As for the style of the house, I have several favorites. Tuscan, Spanish colonial (with the central courtyard), English cottage, Victorian, farm house. It would be hard to choose if I had to.
Of course, a large portion of the money would be put into savings for when Charlie retires and in case of emergencies, and I would put money away for my kids' college educations.
I would also pay off my car (I think we owe around $10,000 now), buy my mom a house and the Chevrolet HHR she's been wanting. I would give my brother and his wife a good chunk of money to buy a house with and whatever else they would want. And, of course, give money to Charlie's family.
I might also buy myself a Mini Cooper. I've been wanting one for years. I haven't been able to make up my mind on whether I'd want a blue one or a red one. Though the British racing green is pretty too. And I'd buy Charlie a '69 Camaro. He's always wanted one.
I would finally be able to travel to the places I've always dreamed of traveling to. New Zealand and pretty much all of Europe.
I would buy my kids new bedroom furniture and buy a new dining room set. The one I have now was bought by my parents when I was 15. It's 22 years old and it shows. It's really not my style either. I want something dark and heavy and rustic.
Those are the big purchases we would make if we won millions of dollars. It might not ever happen, especially since I don't play the lottery, but it's okay to dream. :-)
I did get to thinking about what I would do if I won millions of dollars. Tithes would be paid first. I would ask my pastor not to tell anyone that it was from me. I'm not interested in any glory. I would love to see my pastor's face if he got a big check like that. We could pay off our building and take care of some needs our church has.
I would then put our current house on the market and buy a bigger place for me and my family in a better school district. Not a mansion by any means. I'm not the mansion type. Around 2500 square feet, give or take, would be fine. Something with four bedrooms (the fourth would be for my library/office), a three-car garage for Charlie (that was one of the things he asked for when we had our house on the market a couple years ago and were house hunting), a living room and a den (for our home theater), formal dining room, a large kitchen with an island and a breakfast nook, 2½ bathrooms, a wrap-around front porch (Southerners love big porches), and a large fenced-in backyard. I would want the house to sit on a bunch of land with lots of trees, somewhere out in the country.
As for the style of the house, I have several favorites. Tuscan, Spanish colonial (with the central courtyard), English cottage, Victorian, farm house. It would be hard to choose if I had to.
Of course, a large portion of the money would be put into savings for when Charlie retires and in case of emergencies, and I would put money away for my kids' college educations.
I would also pay off my car (I think we owe around $10,000 now), buy my mom a house and the Chevrolet HHR she's been wanting. I would give my brother and his wife a good chunk of money to buy a house with and whatever else they would want. And, of course, give money to Charlie's family.
I might also buy myself a Mini Cooper. I've been wanting one for years. I haven't been able to make up my mind on whether I'd want a blue one or a red one. Though the British racing green is pretty too. And I'd buy Charlie a '69 Camaro. He's always wanted one.
I would finally be able to travel to the places I've always dreamed of traveling to. New Zealand and pretty much all of Europe.
I would buy my kids new bedroom furniture and buy a new dining room set. The one I have now was bought by my parents when I was 15. It's 22 years old and it shows. It's really not my style either. I want something dark and heavy and rustic.
Those are the big purchases we would make if we won millions of dollars. It might not ever happen, especially since I don't play the lottery, but it's okay to dream. :-)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Contentment, Peace, Satisfaction
As I wrote in my previous entry, we didn't have any plans for Memorial Day or the weekend. We've been getting a lot of rain, so I reckon it didn't matter much. I spent most of my time reading Voyager by Diana Gabaldon and doing laundry. Nothing too exciting (though the book often was), but I didn't mind. I have to admit that I was so into Voyager that I neglected things just a tad around here. I've got some catching up to do.
I finished my book early yesterday morning. It was a great continuation of Claire and Jamie's story. Now they're in Georgia during colonial times, having shipwrecked there during a hurricane. I'll read the next book in the series, The Fiery Cross, in a few months.
Sean came home from school yesterday very upset because he failed his EOG retakes. *sigh* I really hate EOGs. I think I've said that before. If a child is making good grades on their report card, that's all that should matter when deciding whether or not they continue on to the next grade level. Especially in elementary and middle school. They've promoted him in the past when he's failed his EOGs (because he did fine on his report cards; he's doing even better this year), but that was in elementary school. Hopefully they'll promote him this year also. He has to in order to attend the high school ahead academy next school year.
---------------------------------
I had another disturbing dream a couple nights ago. I dreamed that I had a disease, I think cancer, and was in the hospital because of it. My hair was coming out in chunks, I had lost a lot of weight and my face looked old, though I wasn't actually old.
Charlie was in my room with me and told me that he was going to go get something to eat. After he left, Mom and a couple other people (I think older ladies) came into my room to see me. Mom was upset that Charlie had left, but she didn't say anything.
After Mom and the others left, Charlie came back and immediately sprawled out in a chair and went to sleep. I went up to him and saw what looked like purple, glittery make-up on him. I wiped part of it off with my thumb and looked at it. It hit me that he had actually gone to see another woman, not get something to eat (unless they'd gone out together), and I stood there too shocked to cry or even move. Then I woke up.
--------------------------
I mentioned earlier that nothing exciting happened here over the weekend. That used to bother me. Not having anything fun or interesting to do. But honestly that really came from lack of contentment with my life. (As well as lack of imagination, I suppose. I think I've improved in that area. Movies, tennis, walks in the park, etc.) I don't mean being a wife and mother. I mean lack of contentment with my job, my duty. Which of course is what I do as a wife and mother. I know. Fine line there.
What I'm trying to say is, for awhile, especially early last summer, I wasn't satisfied with my life, what I was doing, and I felt unappreciated. Of course, feeling unappreciated is one of the hazards of the job of being a housewife and mother. It's normal to feel that way sometimes. But outside forces, I'll call it, were pressuring me and causing me to feel that way all the time. As if who I am and what I do isn't enough and doesn't matter.
God has shown me otherwise. Through prayer, reading the Bible and reading certain blogs that I "stumbled" across (I believe God led me to them; I didn't just stumble onto them), I have come to accept completely who I am and what I do. I can't tell you the weight that lifted off of my shoulders. To no longer feel like I wasn't measuring up or "contributing" to my family or doing anything that mattered. What I do means a lot for my family and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about it. I believe with all my heart that what I'm doing is what God wants me to be doing.
Not that I've got it all figured out and perfected. It's a process. Something I will probably always need improvement in. But I'm no longer daunted by not just the tasks I do, but also by the tasks I'm working towards; the tasks I know I need to do more often and/or do better.
Most women hate housework and complain about it often. I can't really say that I blame them. It's not exactly fun to clean toilets or wipe up spills and so on. But I can honestly say that I don't really hate it anymore. Yes, there are many other things I enjoy more, but I'm doing this for my family. And while I don't get thanked for it all that often, it's not really thanks I'm doing it for. I feel happy and proud that I can create a clean, happy, peaceful home for my family and cook delicious meals for them. (Even if I do say so myself. lol)
The Bible says that we should do things as if we're doing them for Jesus. My family may not notice what I do very often or thank me for it all that much, but God sees what I do. And between knowing that He sees me trying to be a good "keeper at home" and knowing that what I do is important for my family (I'm sure they'd notice if things suddenly looked like Hoarders or Clean House around here and if the good meals stopped appearing on the table), is enough to bring me contentment with my role in our home.
To be fair though, my kids do thank me for the special things I do for them, which I try to do at least once a week, and that means a lot to me.
It's not just the cooking and cleaning though. It goes much deeper than that. I'm also trying to create as peaceful an atmosphere as I can in our home (I remember years ago my MIL telling me that she felt such peace here) and teach my children with my words and my deeds. To show them, not just tell them, what kind of people they should be, how they should treat others, what kind of lives they should lead. Tell them how much God loves them and explain His teachings the best that I can.
I also try to do something special, something a little extra, for my kids each week if I can. Whether it be taking them to see a movie or going to the park to play tennis or go walking in the woods. I call them family dates. And they're just as important to do each week as going on dates with your spouse.
Anyway, I wrote all that to say that I've found contentment and satisfaction with my role in life. Now that I understand what it truly is and how important and beautiful it is, I have no desire to be anything other than what I am and what God wants me to be. No more looking at others (the Bible says not to compare ourselves to others) and wishing I could do what they do and be more "important" in the eyes of others. The eyes of others don't matter if what I'm doing is what God wants me to do.
I've been wanting to write this on my blog for weeks now. It feels good to finally do that.
So now do I not only have peace that passes understanding (the trial I've been in isn't over yet, nearly a year later), but I'm also happy with what my role is in life. Only God could've done that for me. If y'all could've known the turmoil I was in, you would understand what I mean. I still have my sad moments because my situation is still hard and is still going on, but at the same time, I have peace in my storm. And I have to believe that what the devil meant for bad, God is going to make something good out of it. I have to believe that He will bring me through and make things as they ought to be.
Sorry for the length of this. I reckon I'm in a "talkative" mood.
I finished my book early yesterday morning. It was a great continuation of Claire and Jamie's story. Now they're in Georgia during colonial times, having shipwrecked there during a hurricane. I'll read the next book in the series, The Fiery Cross, in a few months.
Sean came home from school yesterday very upset because he failed his EOG retakes. *sigh* I really hate EOGs. I think I've said that before. If a child is making good grades on their report card, that's all that should matter when deciding whether or not they continue on to the next grade level. Especially in elementary and middle school. They've promoted him in the past when he's failed his EOGs (because he did fine on his report cards; he's doing even better this year), but that was in elementary school. Hopefully they'll promote him this year also. He has to in order to attend the high school ahead academy next school year.
---------------------------------
I had another disturbing dream a couple nights ago. I dreamed that I had a disease, I think cancer, and was in the hospital because of it. My hair was coming out in chunks, I had lost a lot of weight and my face looked old, though I wasn't actually old.
Charlie was in my room with me and told me that he was going to go get something to eat. After he left, Mom and a couple other people (I think older ladies) came into my room to see me. Mom was upset that Charlie had left, but she didn't say anything.
After Mom and the others left, Charlie came back and immediately sprawled out in a chair and went to sleep. I went up to him and saw what looked like purple, glittery make-up on him. I wiped part of it off with my thumb and looked at it. It hit me that he had actually gone to see another woman, not get something to eat (unless they'd gone out together), and I stood there too shocked to cry or even move. Then I woke up.
--------------------------
I mentioned earlier that nothing exciting happened here over the weekend. That used to bother me. Not having anything fun or interesting to do. But honestly that really came from lack of contentment with my life. (As well as lack of imagination, I suppose. I think I've improved in that area. Movies, tennis, walks in the park, etc.) I don't mean being a wife and mother. I mean lack of contentment with my job, my duty. Which of course is what I do as a wife and mother. I know. Fine line there.
What I'm trying to say is, for awhile, especially early last summer, I wasn't satisfied with my life, what I was doing, and I felt unappreciated. Of course, feeling unappreciated is one of the hazards of the job of being a housewife and mother. It's normal to feel that way sometimes. But outside forces, I'll call it, were pressuring me and causing me to feel that way all the time. As if who I am and what I do isn't enough and doesn't matter.
God has shown me otherwise. Through prayer, reading the Bible and reading certain blogs that I "stumbled" across (I believe God led me to them; I didn't just stumble onto them), I have come to accept completely who I am and what I do. I can't tell you the weight that lifted off of my shoulders. To no longer feel like I wasn't measuring up or "contributing" to my family or doing anything that mattered. What I do means a lot for my family and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about it. I believe with all my heart that what I'm doing is what God wants me to be doing.
Not that I've got it all figured out and perfected. It's a process. Something I will probably always need improvement in. But I'm no longer daunted by not just the tasks I do, but also by the tasks I'm working towards; the tasks I know I need to do more often and/or do better.
Most women hate housework and complain about it often. I can't really say that I blame them. It's not exactly fun to clean toilets or wipe up spills and so on. But I can honestly say that I don't really hate it anymore. Yes, there are many other things I enjoy more, but I'm doing this for my family. And while I don't get thanked for it all that often, it's not really thanks I'm doing it for. I feel happy and proud that I can create a clean, happy, peaceful home for my family and cook delicious meals for them. (Even if I do say so myself. lol)
The Bible says that we should do things as if we're doing them for Jesus. My family may not notice what I do very often or thank me for it all that much, but God sees what I do. And between knowing that He sees me trying to be a good "keeper at home" and knowing that what I do is important for my family (I'm sure they'd notice if things suddenly looked like Hoarders or Clean House around here and if the good meals stopped appearing on the table), is enough to bring me contentment with my role in our home.
To be fair though, my kids do thank me for the special things I do for them, which I try to do at least once a week, and that means a lot to me.
It's not just the cooking and cleaning though. It goes much deeper than that. I'm also trying to create as peaceful an atmosphere as I can in our home (I remember years ago my MIL telling me that she felt such peace here) and teach my children with my words and my deeds. To show them, not just tell them, what kind of people they should be, how they should treat others, what kind of lives they should lead. Tell them how much God loves them and explain His teachings the best that I can.
I also try to do something special, something a little extra, for my kids each week if I can. Whether it be taking them to see a movie or going to the park to play tennis or go walking in the woods. I call them family dates. And they're just as important to do each week as going on dates with your spouse.
Anyway, I wrote all that to say that I've found contentment and satisfaction with my role in life. Now that I understand what it truly is and how important and beautiful it is, I have no desire to be anything other than what I am and what God wants me to be. No more looking at others (the Bible says not to compare ourselves to others) and wishing I could do what they do and be more "important" in the eyes of others. The eyes of others don't matter if what I'm doing is what God wants me to do.
I've been wanting to write this on my blog for weeks now. It feels good to finally do that.
So now do I not only have peace that passes understanding (the trial I've been in isn't over yet, nearly a year later), but I'm also happy with what my role is in life. Only God could've done that for me. If y'all could've known the turmoil I was in, you would understand what I mean. I still have my sad moments because my situation is still hard and is still going on, but at the same time, I have peace in my storm. And I have to believe that what the devil meant for bad, God is going to make something good out of it. I have to believe that He will bring me through and make things as they ought to be.
Sorry for the length of this. I reckon I'm in a "talkative" mood.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Bianca's, Dreams, Update
Kelly and I went to Bianca's for supper on Friday after getting groceries. I can't remember the last time we had gone. It was so good! They never fail to satisfy. They've been chosen many times as Greensboro's (and the Triad's) best Italian restaurant, among other awards. The price is pretty great too, considering all that you get.
I got the chicken piccata, as I always do, and Kelly got the spaghetti with meatballs. Our meals came with salad, garlic bread, appetizer, a side of pasta (with mine; meat entrees come with a side of pasta) and dessert. All this is included in the price of your entree.
After eating supper, I got Sean from Mom's house and took him to see Iron Man 2. (Kelly was with us.) He'd been dying to see it and really liked it.
---------------------------
I've had some strange dreams lately. The first was a couple nights ago. It was strange, but also possibly symbolic.
I dreamed that I was playing a tennis-like game on a narrow black tennis court with a black net. I was using a black tennis racket and a black mesh frisbie-type object in place of a tennis ball. My opponent was Russell from Survivor (lol), who is known for being a liar and a deceiver - a villain. He was dressed in black and was wearing a black hat or rag of some kind on his head. A tall black man stood by me quietly. I got the feeling he was a guardian or protector.
I was having a very difficult time getting the frisbie-type object to cooperate and though the audience would laugh everytime I failed, I wouldn't give up.
Suddenly the dream did one of those switches and my opponent was on a horse on the neighboring court. (Which was also all black.) Two Indians on horses were trying to kill him, one opposite him on the other side of the net, and one next to, yet behind him. They cut one end of the net and were pulling it tightly around him to strangle him. Though he was my opponent, a liar and a deceiver, and though I was afraid the Indians might kill me if I interfered, I couldn't stand by and watch him die. I walked over to where he was and cut the net free with a knife, then walked back to where I had been standing.
The Indian who was on the horse behind him, and who was either the chief or the head warrior, got off his horse and came over to me. He grabbed my right arm and the black man who was my guardian/protector put his arms around me and held my head against his chest. The Indian began making cuts on my right forearm with his knife and then either with his knife or tattoo ink, wrote in cursive on my arm, over the cuts he had made. It was a language I didn't recognize, but somehow I knew he had written the word "Warrior" on my arm.
(I remember hearing a preacher say once that in the Bible, phrases like "son of my right hand" or "right hand of God" represent power. Since God is a Spirit and He fills time and space, you can't actually find His literal right hand. So it makes me wonder if there is significance to the Indian cutting and marking my right arm. Especially with the word "Warrior". Could it mean that I have more power, spiritually speaking, than I realize?)
There is someone in my life who has told lies and has acted as an opposer to not only me, but to things that are good and holy, at times. In spite of what this person has done and said, I am trying to "save" them and "fight" for them in prayer and by doing good to them.
------------------------
The other dream was a little disturbing. I was in a department store and was trying to find Charlie. I walked back into the fitting room area and was looking and calling for him. A man (he appeared to be in his early to mid-twenties) who worked there, or who pretended to work there, started walking next to me and acted like he was helping me. He walked me back to the storage area and touched me inappropriately on my chest, then forced me behind some things and raped me. Charlie wasn't there to protect me.
It reminded me of when I had written about my dreams back in September.
These dreams have stayed with me. Especially the first one.
---------------------------
Not much going on 'round these parts. Just been doing a lot of cleaning and laundry.
Oh, we went to that High School Ahead Academy meeting on Wednesday. It was only supposed to last an hour, but the principal of the school talked for almost an hour and a half. We were so bored. I filled out an application for Sean to attend next school year. As I said in my previous entry, there are only 100 seats available. If Sean gets accepted, they'll send a letter letting me know.
Sean has to re-take his EOGs this week. I hope he passes.
Kelly goes back to the dermatologist on Wednesday. Hopefully Kelly will let him remove the cyst this time.
I got the chicken piccata, as I always do, and Kelly got the spaghetti with meatballs. Our meals came with salad, garlic bread, appetizer, a side of pasta (with mine; meat entrees come with a side of pasta) and dessert. All this is included in the price of your entree.
After eating supper, I got Sean from Mom's house and took him to see Iron Man 2. (Kelly was with us.) He'd been dying to see it and really liked it.
---------------------------
I've had some strange dreams lately. The first was a couple nights ago. It was strange, but also possibly symbolic.
I dreamed that I was playing a tennis-like game on a narrow black tennis court with a black net. I was using a black tennis racket and a black mesh frisbie-type object in place of a tennis ball. My opponent was Russell from Survivor (lol), who is known for being a liar and a deceiver - a villain. He was dressed in black and was wearing a black hat or rag of some kind on his head. A tall black man stood by me quietly. I got the feeling he was a guardian or protector.
I was having a very difficult time getting the frisbie-type object to cooperate and though the audience would laugh everytime I failed, I wouldn't give up.
Suddenly the dream did one of those switches and my opponent was on a horse on the neighboring court. (Which was also all black.) Two Indians on horses were trying to kill him, one opposite him on the other side of the net, and one next to, yet behind him. They cut one end of the net and were pulling it tightly around him to strangle him. Though he was my opponent, a liar and a deceiver, and though I was afraid the Indians might kill me if I interfered, I couldn't stand by and watch him die. I walked over to where he was and cut the net free with a knife, then walked back to where I had been standing.
The Indian who was on the horse behind him, and who was either the chief or the head warrior, got off his horse and came over to me. He grabbed my right arm and the black man who was my guardian/protector put his arms around me and held my head against his chest. The Indian began making cuts on my right forearm with his knife and then either with his knife or tattoo ink, wrote in cursive on my arm, over the cuts he had made. It was a language I didn't recognize, but somehow I knew he had written the word "Warrior" on my arm.
(I remember hearing a preacher say once that in the Bible, phrases like "son of my right hand" or "right hand of God" represent power. Since God is a Spirit and He fills time and space, you can't actually find His literal right hand. So it makes me wonder if there is significance to the Indian cutting and marking my right arm. Especially with the word "Warrior". Could it mean that I have more power, spiritually speaking, than I realize?)
There is someone in my life who has told lies and has acted as an opposer to not only me, but to things that are good and holy, at times. In spite of what this person has done and said, I am trying to "save" them and "fight" for them in prayer and by doing good to them.
------------------------
The other dream was a little disturbing. I was in a department store and was trying to find Charlie. I walked back into the fitting room area and was looking and calling for him. A man (he appeared to be in his early to mid-twenties) who worked there, or who pretended to work there, started walking next to me and acted like he was helping me. He walked me back to the storage area and touched me inappropriately on my chest, then forced me behind some things and raped me. Charlie wasn't there to protect me.
It reminded me of when I had written about my dreams back in September.
These dreams have stayed with me. Especially the first one.
---------------------------
Not much going on 'round these parts. Just been doing a lot of cleaning and laundry.
Oh, we went to that High School Ahead Academy meeting on Wednesday. It was only supposed to last an hour, but the principal of the school talked for almost an hour and a half. We were so bored. I filled out an application for Sean to attend next school year. As I said in my previous entry, there are only 100 seats available. If Sean gets accepted, they'll send a letter letting me know.
Sean has to re-take his EOGs this week. I hope he passes.
Kelly goes back to the dermatologist on Wednesday. Hopefully Kelly will let him remove the cyst this time.
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Simple Life
"Hobbits have been living and farming in the four Farthings of the Shire for many hundreds of years. Quite content to ignore and be ignored by the world of the Big Folk — Middle-Earth being, after all, full of strange creatures beyond count. Hobbits must seem of little importance, being neither renowned as great warriors, nor counted among the very wise. In fact, it has been remarked by some that the Hobbits' only real passion is for food. A rather unfair observation, as we have also developed a keen interest in the brewing of ales, and the smoking of pipe-weed. But where our hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet, and good tilled earth. For all Hobbits share a love of things that grow. And yes, no doubt, to others our ways seem quaint. But today, of all days, it is brought home to me, it is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life."
Bilbo said this in the early part of the film The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. He's writing it in a book on the day of his eleventy-first (111th) birthday.
But this blog entry isn't about Hobbits or Lord of the Rings. It's about something I thought about yesterday which brought the above quote to mind.
I was watching a program on UNC-TV called Cruising Carolina: Currituck, and the images of the sound (Currituck Sound), the beach, the sea oats, and the seeming near desertedness of the area (there were some old homes, and further inland, some small local grocery stores and such) were so beautiful and idyllic that I longed for such a life myself.
I imagined myself living in a beautiful, old home near the waters of the sound with gorgeous sunsets and sunrises, Banker ponies roaming around, peace and quiet and simplicity.
I imagined ignoring the outside world ("quite content to ignore and be ignored"), no more internet, no more cell phones, maybe even no more TV. (*gasp*)
I would walk a quiet path, chat with townsfolk, go seashelling, and take lots of photographs when I wasn't doing my usual household chores.
A part of me finds that kind of life very attractive. To get away from it all - permanently.
But then I'm also the type who enjoys having good shopping and restaurants close by. (Not that I get to do either all that often.) Would I be able to handle such a simple life? In my dreams, yes. But reality could be a different story. Though I suppose one never knows until one tries.
These days, a simple life seems more attractive than ever. Perhaps I was born too late. I'm an old-fashioned girl with old-fashioned values. There doesn't seem to be much room for that in this world anymore.
Bilbo said this in the early part of the film The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. He's writing it in a book on the day of his eleventy-first (111th) birthday.
But this blog entry isn't about Hobbits or Lord of the Rings. It's about something I thought about yesterday which brought the above quote to mind.
I was watching a program on UNC-TV called Cruising Carolina: Currituck, and the images of the sound (Currituck Sound), the beach, the sea oats, and the seeming near desertedness of the area (there were some old homes, and further inland, some small local grocery stores and such) were so beautiful and idyllic that I longed for such a life myself.
I imagined myself living in a beautiful, old home near the waters of the sound with gorgeous sunsets and sunrises, Banker ponies roaming around, peace and quiet and simplicity.
I imagined ignoring the outside world ("quite content to ignore and be ignored"), no more internet, no more cell phones, maybe even no more TV. (*gasp*)
I would walk a quiet path, chat with townsfolk, go seashelling, and take lots of photographs when I wasn't doing my usual household chores.
A part of me finds that kind of life very attractive. To get away from it all - permanently.
But then I'm also the type who enjoys having good shopping and restaurants close by. (Not that I get to do either all that often.) Would I be able to handle such a simple life? In my dreams, yes. But reality could be a different story. Though I suppose one never knows until one tries.
These days, a simple life seems more attractive than ever. Perhaps I was born too late. I'm an old-fashioned girl with old-fashioned values. There doesn't seem to be much room for that in this world anymore.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Wanderlust
Things have been pretty quiet around here, other than my kids arguing a couple times a day. Highly annoying. With the weather turning colder (it's cold to us Southerners anyway) and getting rain a couple times a week, we're not getting out much. Today's temperatures are pretty decent for December (it's in the 60s), but the wind we're having is crazy. Tonight is mid-week service though and that's something to look forward to.
So what have I been doing with my time? Well, besides the usual cooking and cleaning, I've been spending a lot of time online. To the point that I'm almost sick of it. But I read two or three books so quickly that I'm not really in a reading mood and I keep forgetting to call the cable company about the sound issues. (When the cable to the TV is plugged in, you can see the channels but you can't hear them. When you unplug the cable to the TV, you can hear the channels but you can't see them. *sigh*) That leaves the internet as my time-filler.
And what have I been doing online? Facebook, watching my favorite shows and reading blogs mostly. Especially expat blogs. It's been my dream for a long time to travel. Mostly to Europe and New Zealand. Since I don't have the money or the time (yet) to make this dream come true, reading expat blogs is the closest I can come to it. I am attempting to live vicariously through these lucky people who have the opportunity to live in another country for a time. Some have been in their country of choice for many years.
I dream of what it would be like to live in New Zealand or Italy or Ireland or some other European country. I know that the reality of it probably wouldn't completely live up to my dreams of it, but since it's just a dream at the moment I will imagine it the way I'd like for it to be. Maybe living in or traveling to another country will happen and maybe it won't. I don't necessarily dream about something with the expectation that it will happen, only with the hope that it will. And sometimes that's enough. Sometimes it's just a form of escape.
So what have I been doing with my time? Well, besides the usual cooking and cleaning, I've been spending a lot of time online. To the point that I'm almost sick of it. But I read two or three books so quickly that I'm not really in a reading mood and I keep forgetting to call the cable company about the sound issues. (When the cable to the TV is plugged in, you can see the channels but you can't hear them. When you unplug the cable to the TV, you can hear the channels but you can't see them. *sigh*) That leaves the internet as my time-filler.
And what have I been doing online? Facebook, watching my favorite shows and reading blogs mostly. Especially expat blogs. It's been my dream for a long time to travel. Mostly to Europe and New Zealand. Since I don't have the money or the time (yet) to make this dream come true, reading expat blogs is the closest I can come to it. I am attempting to live vicariously through these lucky people who have the opportunity to live in another country for a time. Some have been in their country of choice for many years.
I dream of what it would be like to live in New Zealand or Italy or Ireland or some other European country. I know that the reality of it probably wouldn't completely live up to my dreams of it, but since it's just a dream at the moment I will imagine it the way I'd like for it to be. Maybe living in or traveling to another country will happen and maybe it won't. I don't necessarily dream about something with the expectation that it will happen, only with the hope that it will. And sometimes that's enough. Sometimes it's just a form of escape.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
This and That
I'm still not feeling well. More tired than anything, but also a little sniffly and I don't have much of a voice at times. Kelly's doing better. Just a little bit of a cough. She'll be going to church with my mom and Sean. I'll have to stay home again. :-(
I put the lights on the tree last night. I was going to put the ornaments on it as well, but I got too tired.
While I was sitting at my computer, I called Kelly to me to tell her something and she came to me crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said, "I miss Daddy". I asked her if she wanted to call him and speak to him, but she said that she didn't. Maybe she was afraid she'd cry on the phone with him.
Little girls need their daddies and boys who are about to be teenagers need them too. Not to mention how much I need my husband. It makes me angry that he's not here as much as he should be. I really feel for single mothers. I feel like a single mother myself (emotionally) and it's awful. He's paying the bills, but I'm the one taking care of everything and raising our kids pretty much by myself. *insert angry face here*
Anyway, that feeling I get from time to time (click on "Dreams" and "dreaming" in my label cloud) hit me again a few hours ago. The feeling that I need to escape or get away somewhere. It's not sugar plums, but visions of far off places dancing in my head - Italy, New Zealand, Ireland. *sigh* Will those dreams ever come true? Only God knows for sure. Aside from the dreams I have for my husband and I as a couple, and for our family, traveling to Europe and New Zealand is my biggest dream in life.
It kind of stinks to have dreams you can't attain (for now), but having no dreams at all would be worse.
I put the lights on the tree last night. I was going to put the ornaments on it as well, but I got too tired.
While I was sitting at my computer, I called Kelly to me to tell her something and she came to me crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said, "I miss Daddy". I asked her if she wanted to call him and speak to him, but she said that she didn't. Maybe she was afraid she'd cry on the phone with him.
Little girls need their daddies and boys who are about to be teenagers need them too. Not to mention how much I need my husband. It makes me angry that he's not here as much as he should be. I really feel for single mothers. I feel like a single mother myself (emotionally) and it's awful. He's paying the bills, but I'm the one taking care of everything and raising our kids pretty much by myself. *insert angry face here*
Anyway, that feeling I get from time to time (click on "Dreams" and "dreaming" in my label cloud) hit me again a few hours ago. The feeling that I need to escape or get away somewhere. It's not sugar plums, but visions of far off places dancing in my head - Italy, New Zealand, Ireland. *sigh* Will those dreams ever come true? Only God knows for sure. Aside from the dreams I have for my husband and I as a couple, and for our family, traveling to Europe and New Zealand is my biggest dream in life.
It kind of stinks to have dreams you can't attain (for now), but having no dreams at all would be worse.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thanksgiving and Other Things
I woke up Thanksgiving morning feeling tired and a little unwell. Around 1:30, I cleaned and prepared the turkey and then got it in the oven shortly before 2:00. I then took about an hour nap (could've used a longer one), checked the turkey and then took a shower.
My brother Del and his wife Jennifer came over sometime after 5:00 while I was finishing up dinner. Kelly put the deep green table cloth on the table (quite pretty) and then Sean, Kelly and I set the table. When all the side dishes were done (stuffing, green beans, crescent rolls, black eyed peas, mashed potatoes, gravy) I put it all in serving bowls and set them on the table. My brother carved the turkey and put the pieces on a platter for me, which he then placed in the center of the table.
When we all were seated, my brother said the blessing in his typical goofy fashion and then we all piled our plates with food (well, Kelly and Del did) and nearly stuffed ourselves. We really enjoyed our dinner.
After we were done eating, Del and Sean got the Christmas tree and decorations down from the attic for me. I was too tired to do more than put the tree together though. It still sits there bare, with its branches still clumped together, as I type this. Between my cold and AF, I've been almost more tired than I can stand.
Anyway, Del and Jennifer left around 7:20 (Del had to help Jennifer's mom with something) and then my mom came over at around 7:30 after getting off work. She only ate a turkey leg and a piece of chocolate cream pie. Kelly and I ate some pie with her so that she wouldn't have to eat alone. She didn't stay long. She left around 8:00 or so. :-/
I really can't put into words how much I missed my husband being here with us. This is the first time that we haven't spent Thanksgiving together. Without him, it just isn't the same.
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I had planned on going to bed earlier than I did on Thursday night, but I stayed up very late reading a book called The Diplomat's Wife by Pam Jenoff. (A sort of sequel to The Kommandant's Girl.) It was too good to put down. I finished reading it before going to bed. I had just finished reading Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict two or three days before. It was an okay book. I'm now reading The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson and will be starting The Wind Comes Sweeping soon.
I had a hard time sleeping Thursday night/Friday morning, as seems to always be the case these past few months, and woke up Friday feeling like I had barely slept. But, there were things to do, places to go, kids and pets to take care of.
Because I was so sleepy (my cold and AF didn't help things), it took me awhile to get myself together and out the door. The kids and I left around 3:00 or so to do the weekly grocery shopping. I also needed to get Sean a pair of brown dress shoes, but after going to six different stores, the only brown dress shoes I could find were at Dillard's for $50-55. Uh, no. I don't even like to pay that much for shoes for myself. Though I can't remember the last time I bought shoes for myself. So sad.
When I couldn't find shoes for Sean (for a decent price), I decided to see if I could find a coat for Kelly on sale. The coats at Dillard's were not on sale and all The Children's Place had were brightly-colored puffers, which I don't care for. We then went to Belk, which had kids' coats on sale for half off. We narrowed it down to a red one and a black one. Kelly chose the black one, which was on sale for $34.
We went to Food Lion after leaving the mall and then brought Sean to my mom's house so that he could spend the night with her. After bringing the groceries home, Kelly and I went to the Wendy's drive-thru and got something to eat. It was after 7:00 and I hadn't eaten at all yet.
I was so tired after eating that I couldn't keep my eyes open (I had felt like a zombie the whole time we'd been out), so I laid down on the couch and slept for 2-2½ hours. Had weird dreams as usual. In one dream, I was in Italy with a tour group. At one point we were inside a shop of some kind when this older black man (40s-50s) approached me and said, "I've been looking for you all my life." lol But then I got to talking to him and a couple other men about how great the TV show The Closer is and how that if I could only choose one show to watch, it would be that one. Weird. Don't know where that came from.
------------------------------
I need to get the tree decorated today. Hopefully I'll have the energy to do it. I've felt wiped out for a few days now. Maybe I'll get the lights on the bushes too.
My brother Del and his wife Jennifer came over sometime after 5:00 while I was finishing up dinner. Kelly put the deep green table cloth on the table (quite pretty) and then Sean, Kelly and I set the table. When all the side dishes were done (stuffing, green beans, crescent rolls, black eyed peas, mashed potatoes, gravy) I put it all in serving bowls and set them on the table. My brother carved the turkey and put the pieces on a platter for me, which he then placed in the center of the table.
When we all were seated, my brother said the blessing in his typical goofy fashion and then we all piled our plates with food (well, Kelly and Del did) and nearly stuffed ourselves. We really enjoyed our dinner.
After we were done eating, Del and Sean got the Christmas tree and decorations down from the attic for me. I was too tired to do more than put the tree together though. It still sits there bare, with its branches still clumped together, as I type this. Between my cold and AF, I've been almost more tired than I can stand.
Anyway, Del and Jennifer left around 7:20 (Del had to help Jennifer's mom with something) and then my mom came over at around 7:30 after getting off work. She only ate a turkey leg and a piece of chocolate cream pie. Kelly and I ate some pie with her so that she wouldn't have to eat alone. She didn't stay long. She left around 8:00 or so. :-/
I really can't put into words how much I missed my husband being here with us. This is the first time that we haven't spent Thanksgiving together. Without him, it just isn't the same.
---------------------------
I had planned on going to bed earlier than I did on Thursday night, but I stayed up very late reading a book called The Diplomat's Wife by Pam Jenoff. (A sort of sequel to The Kommandant's Girl.) It was too good to put down. I finished reading it before going to bed. I had just finished reading Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict two or three days before. It was an okay book. I'm now reading The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson and will be starting The Wind Comes Sweeping soon.
I had a hard time sleeping Thursday night/Friday morning, as seems to always be the case these past few months, and woke up Friday feeling like I had barely slept. But, there were things to do, places to go, kids and pets to take care of.
Because I was so sleepy (my cold and AF didn't help things), it took me awhile to get myself together and out the door. The kids and I left around 3:00 or so to do the weekly grocery shopping. I also needed to get Sean a pair of brown dress shoes, but after going to six different stores, the only brown dress shoes I could find were at Dillard's for $50-55. Uh, no. I don't even like to pay that much for shoes for myself. Though I can't remember the last time I bought shoes for myself. So sad.
When I couldn't find shoes for Sean (for a decent price), I decided to see if I could find a coat for Kelly on sale. The coats at Dillard's were not on sale and all The Children's Place had were brightly-colored puffers, which I don't care for. We then went to Belk, which had kids' coats on sale for half off. We narrowed it down to a red one and a black one. Kelly chose the black one, which was on sale for $34.
We went to Food Lion after leaving the mall and then brought Sean to my mom's house so that he could spend the night with her. After bringing the groceries home, Kelly and I went to the Wendy's drive-thru and got something to eat. It was after 7:00 and I hadn't eaten at all yet.I was so tired after eating that I couldn't keep my eyes open (I had felt like a zombie the whole time we'd been out), so I laid down on the couch and slept for 2-2½ hours. Had weird dreams as usual. In one dream, I was in Italy with a tour group. At one point we were inside a shop of some kind when this older black man (40s-50s) approached me and said, "I've been looking for you all my life." lol But then I got to talking to him and a couple other men about how great the TV show The Closer is and how that if I could only choose one show to watch, it would be that one. Weird. Don't know where that came from.
------------------------------
I need to get the tree decorated today. Hopefully I'll have the energy to do it. I've felt wiped out for a few days now. Maybe I'll get the lights on the bushes too.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Dreams
For the past few months I've had vivid and interesting dreams. Some dreams have been frightening. Such as the dream where my husband refuses to pick me up from somewhere way out in the country and drive me home. It's a chilly, misty day and I'm forced to walk home. I end up getting kidnapped and raped.
Then there's the dream, that oddly enough appears to have taken place in the 1940s. I'm walking down a sidewalk (in lovely '40s clothing with a '40s hairstyle) in what looks like a small downtown area and I'm shot and killed as I round a corner.
Last night's dream was odd and interesting. I dreamed I was under some grapevines. I was looking for good grapes to eat and picked and ate a few. They were light-colored grapes (not green, red or purple). Sort of beige/white/gold in color with brown specks on them.
I was curious about the grape dream and while I'm not into dream interpretation, I wanted to know what grapes are said to represent in dreams. (Just out of curiosity.) I also looked up other things that have been in my dreams lately - rape, murder, kidnapping, abandonment, hand-holding (something that was focused on in a recent dream as my husband took my hand), etc.
Grapes
"To see grape vines in your dream, symbolizes opulence, wealth, and decadence. It also suggests that you have the ability to offer much happiness to others.
Kidnapping
"To dream that you are being kidnapped, denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals."
Killing
"To dream that you have been killed, suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions and conscience. Alternatively, the dream refers to drastic changes that are happening in your life. There is a characteristic that you want to get rid of or a habit that you want to end within yourself. Killing represents the killing off of old parts of yourself and old habits."
Abandonment
"To dream that you are abandoned, suggests that it is time to leave behind past feelings and characteristics that are hindering your growth. Let go of your old attitudes. A more direct and literal interpretation of this dream is that you have a fear of being deserted, abandoned, or even betrayed. It may stem from a recent loss or a fear of losing a loved one. The fear of abandonment may manifest itself into your dream as part of the healing process and dealing with losing a loved one. It may also stem from unresolved feelings or problems from childhood. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are feeling neglected or that your feelings are being overlooked. Perhaps the dream is a metaphor that you need to approach life with "reckless abandon" and live more freely."
Hand-holding
"To dream that you are holding hands with someone, represents your connection with that person. Your dream may also reflect anxieties about losing touch with him/her or that you are drifting apart."
Travel
"To dream that you are traveling, represents the path toward your life goals. It also parallels your daily routine and how you are progressing along. Alternatively, it signifies a desire to escape. If your travels come to an end, then it symbolizes successful completion of your goals."
Countryside
"To dream of the countryside, suggests that you are seeking a simpler way of life. You need to take some time for yourself to relax and free your mind. Alternatively, it indicates a sense of freedom and/or openness that is lacking in your daily life."
True or not, I think the interpretations are interesting. Some of them are accurate for what's going on in my life right now.
Then there's the dream, that oddly enough appears to have taken place in the 1940s. I'm walking down a sidewalk (in lovely '40s clothing with a '40s hairstyle) in what looks like a small downtown area and I'm shot and killed as I round a corner.
Last night's dream was odd and interesting. I dreamed I was under some grapevines. I was looking for good grapes to eat and picked and ate a few. They were light-colored grapes (not green, red or purple). Sort of beige/white/gold in color with brown specks on them.
I was curious about the grape dream and while I'm not into dream interpretation, I wanted to know what grapes are said to represent in dreams. (Just out of curiosity.) I also looked up other things that have been in my dreams lately - rape, murder, kidnapping, abandonment, hand-holding (something that was focused on in a recent dream as my husband took my hand), etc.
Grapes
"To see grape vines in your dream, symbolizes opulence, wealth, and decadence. It also suggests that you have the ability to offer much happiness to others.
"To see or eat grapes in your dream, represents wealth and prosperity. In the end your hard work will pay off and you will be rewarded for your labor. [Here's hoping.]
"To dream that you are picking and gathering grapes, signifies profit and the realization of your desires."
Rape
Kidnapping
"To dream that you are being kidnapped, denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals."
Killing
"To dream that you have been killed, suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions and conscience. Alternatively, the dream refers to drastic changes that are happening in your life. There is a characteristic that you want to get rid of or a habit that you want to end within yourself. Killing represents the killing off of old parts of yourself and old habits."
Abandonment
"To dream that you are abandoned, suggests that it is time to leave behind past feelings and characteristics that are hindering your growth. Let go of your old attitudes. A more direct and literal interpretation of this dream is that you have a fear of being deserted, abandoned, or even betrayed. It may stem from a recent loss or a fear of losing a loved one. The fear of abandonment may manifest itself into your dream as part of the healing process and dealing with losing a loved one. It may also stem from unresolved feelings or problems from childhood. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are feeling neglected or that your feelings are being overlooked. Perhaps the dream is a metaphor that you need to approach life with "reckless abandon" and live more freely."
Hand-holding
"To dream that you are holding hands with someone, represents your connection with that person. Your dream may also reflect anxieties about losing touch with him/her or that you are drifting apart."
Travel
"To dream that you are traveling, represents the path toward your life goals. It also parallels your daily routine and how you are progressing along. Alternatively, it signifies a desire to escape. If your travels come to an end, then it symbolizes successful completion of your goals."
Countryside
"To dream of the countryside, suggests that you are seeking a simpler way of life. You need to take some time for yourself to relax and free your mind. Alternatively, it indicates a sense of freedom and/or openness that is lacking in your daily life."
True or not, I think the interpretations are interesting. Some of them are accurate for what's going on in my life right now.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Change
Just because something is familiar to us doesn't mean it's better than another option. We do tend to stick with what's familiar though, don't we? Afraid to try a new something or other. A different city or state or country. Or even something as relatively small as a new route to work. Leave a few minutes early if you have to.
I don't know why really I'm writing this. Some little thing I read at a forum brought this topic to mind, though nothing was said there about familiarity or change.
I guess it just reminded me yet again how much I desire change. Though, as has been the case with me for over three years now, I have no idea what kind of change I want to make. Other than a general change of scenery and a more interesting life.
There are so many roads one can take, which one do you choose? For me, it's overwhelming and the multitude of choices leaves me feeling more paralyzed than motivated. I feel just as frustrated with myself for my indecision as I do with the number of choices I have. Of course, change requires sacrifice of some kind and that's never easy. Though it can be rewarding once we step out in faith and start making changes. Things don't usually just happen. We usually have to make things happen.
I'm afraid of making a big leap, so I reckon I could start with something small. Baby steps and all that.
I've been thinking about something lately that I never would've considered before - volunteering at the elementary school. Every year, the teachers send home a form wanting volunteers for their classrooms and I never participate. Why? I generally don't like kids. (Or maybe I'm mistaking nervousness with dislike.) But I'm thinking this year I may volunteer for Kelly's class. I know that seems small, but for someone like me who isn't crazy about kids (though I'm good with them) and feels quite nervous about being around groups of people (even little people), this is a little more than a small thing. I tend to be a loner and prefer not being around too many people for more than an hour or so. This would definitely take me out of my comfort zone.
In the grand scheme of things, this is a small step into change. But a step nonetheless.
The ultimate leap for me would be moving to another country. (Italy or New Zealand.) I'm realistic about it though. I know that it may not be meant to be, and so I'm content for now to just dream about it.
----------------------
In other news, I had something occur to me yesterday while I was taking a shower. It was one of those moments where you wonder why you didn't think of it before and you feel kind of stupid for it.
One of our neighbors, who live three doors down from us, is usually home during the day. They have school-aged children. My kids play basketball in their driveway with their son Tyler sometimes. I'm wondering if maybe they could make sure my kids get on the bus in the mornings (this would be a temporary arrangement as my kids are normally car riders) and then watch them for me after school until I can get home from jury duty, should I be so unfortunate as to be chosen for such a task. I need to talk to her (I can't even remember her name!) and ask her if that would be possible.
As much as I don't want to be on a jury, this would definitely make it easier and will take a load off my mind if my neighbor is able to do this. My mom could take my kids to school and pick them up on her days off (usually Monday, Tuesday and Friday or Wednesday and Thursday) and my neighbor could help with the other days. Hopefully, if I get chosen, it won't be a long trial. I don't want to be a bother to my neighbor.
I don't know why really I'm writing this. Some little thing I read at a forum brought this topic to mind, though nothing was said there about familiarity or change.
I guess it just reminded me yet again how much I desire change. Though, as has been the case with me for over three years now, I have no idea what kind of change I want to make. Other than a general change of scenery and a more interesting life.
There are so many roads one can take, which one do you choose? For me, it's overwhelming and the multitude of choices leaves me feeling more paralyzed than motivated. I feel just as frustrated with myself for my indecision as I do with the number of choices I have. Of course, change requires sacrifice of some kind and that's never easy. Though it can be rewarding once we step out in faith and start making changes. Things don't usually just happen. We usually have to make things happen.
I'm afraid of making a big leap, so I reckon I could start with something small. Baby steps and all that.
I've been thinking about something lately that I never would've considered before - volunteering at the elementary school. Every year, the teachers send home a form wanting volunteers for their classrooms and I never participate. Why? I generally don't like kids. (Or maybe I'm mistaking nervousness with dislike.) But I'm thinking this year I may volunteer for Kelly's class. I know that seems small, but for someone like me who isn't crazy about kids (though I'm good with them) and feels quite nervous about being around groups of people (even little people), this is a little more than a small thing. I tend to be a loner and prefer not being around too many people for more than an hour or so. This would definitely take me out of my comfort zone.
In the grand scheme of things, this is a small step into change. But a step nonetheless.
The ultimate leap for me would be moving to another country. (Italy or New Zealand.) I'm realistic about it though. I know that it may not be meant to be, and so I'm content for now to just dream about it.
----------------------
In other news, I had something occur to me yesterday while I was taking a shower. It was one of those moments where you wonder why you didn't think of it before and you feel kind of stupid for it.
One of our neighbors, who live three doors down from us, is usually home during the day. They have school-aged children. My kids play basketball in their driveway with their son Tyler sometimes. I'm wondering if maybe they could make sure my kids get on the bus in the mornings (this would be a temporary arrangement as my kids are normally car riders) and then watch them for me after school until I can get home from jury duty, should I be so unfortunate as to be chosen for such a task. I need to talk to her (I can't even remember her name!) and ask her if that would be possible.
As much as I don't want to be on a jury, this would definitely make it easier and will take a load off my mind if my neighbor is able to do this. My mom could take my kids to school and pick them up on her days off (usually Monday, Tuesday and Friday or Wednesday and Thursday) and my neighbor could help with the other days. Hopefully, if I get chosen, it won't be a long trial. I don't want to be a bother to my neighbor.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Do you have a dream?
I asked someone last week what their biggest dream is in life. The response surprised me. He told me that he doesn't really have any dreams. My mouth hung open for a few seconds before I could respond.
It's hard for me to imagine what it's like to go through life without a dream, a goal or a purpose. Shouldn't there be something you're reaching for or hoping for? Something you're working for? Something you hope to accomplish?
This idea of not having a dream is foreign to me. I guess all my life I've been a dreamer. I used to lie in bed at night when I was a kid and if I couldn't sleep, I would think about all the things I wanted to have (usually a free shopping spree at Toys R Us) or do.
My biggest dream right now is a spiritual one. Second to it is to travel to Europe and New Zealand. An expensive dream, I'll admit. But it's something I greatly desire. Too bad I can't get paid to travel. :-/
I have other dreams as well, though they're not as big as my first two. Here I am, a person with many dreams. And then there's this person who told me that he doesn't have any. That just seems so sad to me. To go through life, working everyday, basically with your head down. Never looking up towards the horizon and having any hopes of what could be waiting for you. No dreams for your future. What a sad way to live. No dreams, no hope, no joy, no spark.
Without a dream, we perish. If this person, who sometimes reads my blog :-), would just find a dream. Surely he could find (or make) the time to figure out what he wants in life and then come up with a plan to make that dream come true. He could start off with something small and then work his way up to a bigger dream.
How can anyone go from day to day without a dream? It kind of blows my mind.
"There's no excuse not to dream."
It's hard for me to imagine what it's like to go through life without a dream, a goal or a purpose. Shouldn't there be something you're reaching for or hoping for? Something you're working for? Something you hope to accomplish?
This idea of not having a dream is foreign to me. I guess all my life I've been a dreamer. I used to lie in bed at night when I was a kid and if I couldn't sleep, I would think about all the things I wanted to have (usually a free shopping spree at Toys R Us) or do.
My biggest dream right now is a spiritual one. Second to it is to travel to Europe and New Zealand. An expensive dream, I'll admit. But it's something I greatly desire. Too bad I can't get paid to travel. :-/
I have other dreams as well, though they're not as big as my first two. Here I am, a person with many dreams. And then there's this person who told me that he doesn't have any. That just seems so sad to me. To go through life, working everyday, basically with your head down. Never looking up towards the horizon and having any hopes of what could be waiting for you. No dreams for your future. What a sad way to live. No dreams, no hope, no joy, no spark.
Without a dream, we perish. If this person, who sometimes reads my blog :-), would just find a dream. Surely he could find (or make) the time to figure out what he wants in life and then come up with a plan to make that dream come true. He could start off with something small and then work his way up to a bigger dream.
How can anyone go from day to day without a dream? It kind of blows my mind.
"There's no excuse not to dream."
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